Category Archives: Things That Amuse Me—

Bleurgh

For the past five nights the majority of my patients have been sick with one or more of the following…

  • High temperature.
  • Runny nose.
  • Vomiting.
  • Night sweats.
  • Lethargy.
  • Cough.
  • ‘Generally unwell’.

So there must be at least one highly infectious disease epidemic in the area, while you or I might want to curl up in bed with some Lemsip and paracetamol, it would seem that a large number of Newham would rather sit in an A&E waiting room.

Madness.

Which leads me to the point of this post.  Us ambulance crews spend a lot of time around these infectious patients, patients who have often never been taught the good manners of putting their hand over their mouth when they cough.

So is it any wonder that I’ve got painful eyes, a streaming nose, a constant mild headache and a feeling that I’m suffering from a mild hangover.

But.

Us ambulance crews mustn’t have more than three periods of sick in an eighteen month period.

So I’m having to drag my potentially infectious body into work – where maybe I can infect some more people…

So in conclusion.

Send me nurses – pretty female nurses with plenty of drugs.*

 

 

*With apologies to another writer/blogger who also asks for nurses and never seems happy when I mention my previous career.

Mouse

I've read all the comments that people have left on the last post, and I've decided to humanely trap and release the mouse that is left.  It just ran across the floor towards my main computer, where I think he makes his home.

The thought of disease didn’t bother me (after all you are aware of the types of people I see daily), trailing urine across the floor is nothing that I don’t do myself sometimes…

It was the cable chewing that did it for me – if I could trust him not to chew my cables, then he could stay, but he can’t be trusted not to find a Mrs mouse and have thousands of cable chewing offspring.  Also it wouldn’t be fair on my neighbors.

So the trap is loaded with chocolate (and yes, I did use that as an excuse to buy myself a bar of chocolate), and I fully expect to have him joining his friend later today.

To answer a few more comments, he looked bedraggled because he was sweating after being stuck in the trap all night trying to get out.  He was not a FBUA at any point during his captivity, and I can’t keep wild mice in a cage because the stress tends to kill them.

I got the picture of him because I let him run around a plastic tub (the bottom of a paper shredder to be exact) for a bit – for the express purpose of getting a picture of him using my new Macro lens for my camera.

I do still like mice despite their ability to multiply, any race that can give humans a run-around is alright in my book.

If my flat caught fire the rest of the block wouldn’t go up – something I’m very grateful for seeing as people here torch their flats in either drug related accidents, or as a way to get re-housed.

And how did I live with seven nurses?  Well – I was one of them, and I was at work most of the time, or asleep/drunk/shagging for the rest of the time.  Time passed very quickly there…

Clearing Out Some Links

Good news on the kidnapped MSF workers front – they were released on Saturday. If I didn't have things like rent and bills keeping me here I'd love to join MSF.

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Time until appropriation by a marketing company for a TV ad? Probably less than three months.

Thru-you.

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De-Baptism.

Sticking your tongue out at Pascal's Wager.

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While pondering 'what next' for my literary career (such as it is) Suw's thoughts on cliffhangers dropped into my RSS reader. Made me reconsider the structure of the fiction that I want to write.

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Dementia with Lewy bodies – tagged as 'research'.

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Welcome please 'A life in the day of a BASICS Doctor', they've just started blogging, but it looks like one to watch.

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GREG RUTTER'S DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE 99 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED ON THE INTERNET UNLESS YOU'RE A LOSER OR OLD OR SOMETHING – A fairly comprehensive list of things that make up the internet's subconscious. Trust me and avoid the NSFW 'bonus' links at the bottom. Some things cannot be unseen…

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You are reading Freakangels, right? How about the forum where I tend to only lurk because everyone else there is smarter than me?

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When they start talking about the credit crunch and start throwing about those huge numbers, remember that

A million seconds is 11 days

A billion seconds is 32 years.

A trillion seconds is 32,000 years.

(From William Gibson's blog)

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Why, as a shift worker, I'm fcuked. It's why I get annoyed at obnoxious patients – those of us who work shifts give up our health for the ungrateful swines.

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The Danish government seems to be doing something helpful for it's sick shift workers, somehow I can't see the British government paying compensation to our shift-workers. They'd rather spend their money bailing out the banks. Sadly this would not be without precedence.

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Attack of the badly photoshopped mutants soon to be invading the telly.

Webby Night

My hand with a sticker on it

You are invited to a meeting of 'the cream' of the British web, the evening has no real agenda besides 'chatting and seeing what happens'.

So, what sort of set-up do you expect?

Well, the free vodka was a good idea, but putting everyone in a room with pounding music so you can't hear what is being said is possibly not a good idea. Add in the fact that the room is incredibly dark, so half deaf people like me can't lip-read and you have a badly thought out location.

So what do us incredibly intelligent 'cream' do? Clever buggers to a soul, we all decamp outside where it is well lit and there are tables.

…And then the DJ followed us out into the light and pounded us with stupidly loud Dance. For the second time while surrounded by tech people the suggested solution was to disconnect the speakers.

Instead we brave the cold, and like a group of dispossessed smokers we hang around the entrance chatting and 'networking'.

The meet up was a vague affair, done in part to promote 'The Webby's', which is apparently some web based award ceremony. The end date for nominations is the 15th of December and I suspect that they want a few more. Each nomination costs between $150-$250 to be entered. With 5,500 nominations last year, and 15 new categories, it's an idea I wish I'd had…

But the night was good for the excellent people that I met. The first person that I knew was Ian Forrester, who has just designed some rather cool T-shirts. What is nice is that he turns up to all the things that I do and is a constant friendly face. Ian introduced me to Walid Al Saqqaf who (over the pounding music) told me about Trusted Places. Now this is a great idea (and I have signed up), it is a peer review site for cafes, restaurants, bars and cultural places and has a really mature number of features. He has challenged me to find a better kebab shop than Best Mangel

I also *finally* had a chance to say hello to Tom Coates, we've often shared a place, but I've never been able to talk to him. I think I managed a few words before I was dragged away by a wild haired Rob Manuel of B3ta fame – many, many moons ago he suggested that someone scoop me up for a book deal, so you could say that he 'discovered' me. He also roundly abused me for forgetting to link to my interview I did for him. Something I can rectify here. Some of the answers are vaguely tongue in cheek. Apparently his book is selling better than mine, which makes me glad that we aren't in a zero sum game.

I also managed to chat with Tom Armitage (who has the coolest blog title ever) and Meg Pickard who does lots of interesting stuff on the web. I also managed to meet Suw who, with the release yesterday of the Gower's report has been run ragged.

I also managed to chat with Joel Veitch who does those superb web animations. He's also done one for a charity, which when released I'll link to.

So yes, a bloody fun evening despite the loud music and dark lighting.

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