Category Archives: News


Well, extended licensing laws are in, which I’m afraid will mean more disorder on the streets, couple that with the seasonal increase in illness, and the ice on the roads that means I can’t drive as fast as I normally can and what you get is an increasing failure to reach our government’s benchmark time.

Remember the Great and Powerful God ORCON?  Where we have to reach most high priority calls within 8 minutes?

We aren’t on target for it this year, and unlike other years I don’t think that “extra effort”, as our management call it, will save us.  There is a shortage of ‘flu vaccinations, so more at risk people will get ill, we’ll be going to more alcohol fueled violence because of the new licensing laws.  It is thought that there will be a colder than average winter, so, because of ice, our vehicles won’t be able to drive as quickly and as safely as normal.  And Agenda for Change has hit morale hard especially given the uncertainty of payment for overtime shifts (which are needed to cover staff shortfalls).  Oh and more people are calling us for more crap reasons every day.

We are doomed.

But worry not, patients won’t be doomed, remember, this eight minute ORCON time has absolutely no basis in health, or prevention of death.  If your heart stops then you have, at best, five minutes to get it going again, after eight minutes, I’m afraid you are more than likely dead, and are going to stay that way.  Most calls clinically either need a “faster than five minutes”, “faster than half an hour” or “Sometime in the next couple of hours” response.  Eight minutes is some figure plucked out the air.

So don’t worry, all it means is that the best Chief Executive the LAS has ever had will lose his job, and we won’t get given as much money to fund the service.  After all you wouldn’t want to fund a failing service would you?

Stupid $&%*£^&*!!! government.

All I can do?  Get there as quickly and safely as possible, and make sure the patient doesn’t get any worse.  I can only do what I can do…


From Warren Ellis – ‘ So how dead does this place get on a Sunday night?’

Well today (looks at his watch) yesterday was pretty much dead person day.

Two corpses, two nearly dead, and one about to die.

All in one shift.

I think my favourite was an elderly gentleman in a nursing home, who had real trouble with his breathing.  I asked the nurses there to sit him forward, so I could listen to his chest with my stethescope, and they replied, “How?”, and, “I don’t understand”.

I think I got a bit ‘shouty’ with them after that.

I’ll gloss over the way they opened the door for me, but then let me find the patient all on my own…

Posting will possibly be a bit light over the next few days, as Jeannie is coming over to stay from Seattle, so most of my time will be spent showing her around London.  I’m looking forward to it.

Then there will be drinks, feel free to turn up and say hello to a genuine American.


Looks like it might be fairly minor – current theory is that a bomb has failed to go off on a tube. So far it's not being declared as a major incident.
At the moment we are all on station sitting watching the news.

Here is hoping that no-one is hurt.

I suspect I can direct you to your normal news-sites, as I'm not going to have any great insights from here on in.


Later today I fly out to Seattle for a couple of days.

I get the first train from Barking (at 5:27, and given that I slept through 3 alarms yesterday, I won’t be sleeping tonight) to Victoria where I get the Gatwick Express to the airport.  At 09:30 I fly out to Houston, landing 10 hours later at 13:30 local time.  One hour later I catch a connecting flight to Seattle lasting four and a half hours, landing at Seattle airport at 17:08 local time.

All this depends on the plane not crashing into the Atlantic (not that I’m a nervous flyer, but I suspect that there will be some calming alcohol therapy beforehand).

I leave Seattle on the 5th of May at 11:40 local time, landing back at Gatwick on the 6th of May at 9:55.

I get to miss the election, which is a happy side effect of this trip.  So who knows what the state of the country will be when I return…

During the trip I shall be in the tender care of Jeannie Cool from IRC, and I’ll be meeting up with some different folks, and at least one ex-pat.

I shall have my mobile phone with me (0790 325 7650), and will hopefully be checking my email every so often (even if I have to become Starbucks best customer), so if you are in Seattle and are at a loose end, feel free to get in contact with me, so I can buy you a drink.

I asked for places to go  and things to do – and I’ll be trying to fit in as many of them as I can.

So for the next few days you will have to put up with me talking about museums, galleries, theatres and (more likely) the floor of many, many Seattle bars.

This, of course, is assuming those wacky Americans let me into the country in the first place.

Art Happening Linky Love

A very funny article here commenting on the fire in Leyton that destroyed a load of “art”.
I've also added a “Recipric-roll” for people who link to me, but I don't necessarily read every day – If you link to me and I've missed you out then feel free to let me know.

I'm working tonight – Friday night, start of a Bank holiday, plenty of pubs (if only the weather was warmer I'd have nothing to do all night but pick up drunks). Today is a “Stat” day, which means that I earn more money for working tonight – I'm going to guess that there will be a lot of ambulances on the road tonight as everyone grabs for that extra overtime. So I'm hoping it'll be an easy night.

I'll let you know.

More Ways To Injure Yourself

It looks like a cheaper version of the Segway will be making its way to the UK in the next couple of months.What this means is that there will just be more ways for people to injure themselves – even if it is allowed on the pavement, the streets around here require four-wheel off-road capability. I have visions of people falling off at 10mph wearing no safety equipment.
…Pardon me while I have a little giggle…