In my last post I was asked in a comment why I don’t fear death, what brought me to that attitude towards it.
I would guess that due to the amount of death, ‘near death’, and ‘about to die’ that I have seen due to my work it has driven me to think about it a bit more than a ‘normal’ person would.
The two things that influence my thoughts about death would be my atheism, and my grasp, tenuous as it may be at some times, of logic.
Firstly, my atheism, means that I have no fear of a Heaven, or Hell, no Limbo (and sadly no Valhalla). So I don’t think that there is anything after death. You die, and you stop. Stop thinking, stop feeling, stop worrying about work, or family, or why the cat keeps scratching your sofa.
And if I stop thinking, then there is no consciousness, and therefore no experiencing of anything, including time.
So when I am dead, that’s it – I won’t feel anything because I won’t exist anymore. When I sleep I have no experience of time, no feelings of pain, no nothing. I don’t worry about if I am going to wake up because my conscious mind ceases to exist for the time I’m asleep.
(I know that with the different phases of sleep and with dreams the analogy breaks down somewhat, but I think the general point is made).
So, logically, why should I be scared of death? Even if I die in a horrible and painful fashion, I’ll not remember any of it, because I will no longer exist. So ultimately it won’t matter how I die, because even with a long drawn out death it will end eventually.
And I don’t plan on having a long, drawn out death. If I become terminally ill then I shall scream for the really good medications, and when I’m fed up of that – well, there are ways out of the situation.
As I have no sense of self before I was concieved, I will have no sense of self once I have ceased to exist. All of which, in my mind, is comforting, that no matter how bad things get, in the end all worries, all pain, will cease.
Of course, if I’m wrong? Well won’t I look foolish as Anubis weighs my heart against a feather.
But that’s a bridge I’ll worry about when I reach it.