It's really simple – I hate forced overtime.

I know that it's just part of my mental make up, but if I'm forced to stay longer in work than I'm contracted to be there I start to get itchy and fed up.

It can't be helped though – sometimes we just get that 'late job' which means that we are dealing with a patient after we should have clocked off. I'm somewhat more used to that, it is one of those things that just happens, and we get paid overtime to make up for it.

(I think it's flat rate overtime mind).

The one thing that really annoys me though is when the clocks go back.

All because our ancestors were afraid of demons that might attack them after the sun goes down (or some such, I don't really care) the clocks go forward in Spring and go backwards in autumn.

Which is fine if you work normal hours – it means you get an extra hour in bed.


However if you are one of those stupid <illegitimate child>'s that work shift work it means so much more…

It means that if you are working a twelve hour shift, suddenly you find yourself working a thirteen hour shift – and that's not counting any extra you have to work if you are unlucky to get stuck with a late job.

I'm working night shifts this weekend…

Some time ago my crewmate told me that the clocks go back on Sunday.

I thought I would be a cunning swine and book annual leave. I really despise working that extra hour (oh, it might not make sense, but in my head it does).

So I booked Sunday night off.

Because that's when the clocks go back.

Isn't it?

No – of course they <copulation>ing don't. They <copulation>ing go back on <turf>ing Sunday morning.

Which means the <female genitalia>ing Saturday night shift.

Like a dozy <male genitalia> I took the wrong <illegitimate child> shift off.

<Male genitalia>.

So – because I'm a daft <person who copulates>, who takes his crewmate at her word, I get to work a thirteen hour shift on Saturday night.

<Copulate> it!

I may not be in the best mood.

The patients had better need an ambulance – or I may well be educating some of them as to the best use of an ambulance service.

25 thoughts on “

  1. Hey TomBe thankful you're not in the Navy. Everytime they cross a timezone, if the clocks go forward Ships Time is adjusted during the night, if it's back it is put on at the end of the workday, so if your steaming at speed it can get quite tiresome…

  2. I laughed my wotsits off! I left the Big White Taxi service and started my new job this month. Had I been still an ambo man my shift pattern would have had me on nights Saturday night (as my ex crewmate was with an ECA – joy!) Not only that, I now work in a school and it's half term week round here, so I'm off all week. Only been in the job a fortnight (nobody died, no blood, puke, pee or pooh and nobody tried to smack me or gob on me) and I've got a weeks holiday! Bliss!I miss the working for the Ambulance Service like I miss my last dose of scabies. Jack it in Tom, and get a proper job!

  3. Oh Dear… poor you… poor patients though I doubt you will treat them with any less than the respect they are entitled too as you are too good a person not to do the right thing….Hope something nice makes up for it xx

  4. hehehe come on you know they go back saturday night. I agree hate working the night they change. It is also hell on drugs and so we on nights have now reached the cunning plan. We keep all drug dosing as is then tell days they have to sort it.At least you get paid even if it isn't overtime for that extra hour where l used to work and now locum they don't.

  5. I'm in the unfortunate position of being on nights this weekend also. And i was last year too. I wonder if control will give out loads of cat A jobs just before the clocks go back and then claim success as crews arrive on scene before the job was given out…?

  6. I remember the 'operational overtime' from my old service with absolute hatred, but fair go, it was the job.But the extra 'hour(s)' shift seemed to mysteriously appear on my shift pattern as district cover, the b#######s.

  7. Your crewmate wasn't lying, they do go back on Sunday, it's just at 2 o'clock Sunday morning. Love this post though. Had me giggling like a loon in the office. Then I had to try to explain why…

  8. lol! Poor Tom! I remember complaining bitterly about working 'clocks back' night with a mental health crisis response team. My managers response was to schedule me for 'clocks forward' night the following March! Looking back I now think that was quite funny…

  9. I sympathise – despite being in a cosy 9 -5 office job – because my work tried to pull a fast one last year. They didn't change the “clocking in” clock until we were all in the building – there was a near-riot when we realised what they'd done at lunch time, and were faced with working an extra hour. I mean, do they really think we're that stupid? Actually, it appears that they do. They'll probably try it again on Monday, the “illegitimate children”.

  10. Well mi dear, I'm with you on this one!Night shift for me tonight too….

    On the up side, you do have tomorrow night off….

    and I have another one to do :0(

  11. Training School. Day 1. Lesson 1. “You will be working a mixture of shifts: Earlies, Lates and Nights. One of these nights will occasionally fall on the Saturday night when the clocks go back. Book that Saturday as leave as soon as you become aware that you have copped that night as a shift. Failure to do so will make you feel a complete “.

  12. I never did get my hour(s) back, but I have thought of you tonight Tom, and have set the alarm for 0200 hrs. I shall leisurely, from my warm bed chortle asthmatically toward my wife before contentedly dribbling back on the pillow, and turning the alarm off.What an evil git I am.

    Sorry Tom. Take good care tonight…

  13. I am OK jack, I get an hours snooze.You should have been around when the 2hr changes, so more work could be done making explosives etc.

  14. It is now 5:10am l gave up on sleep as l was worried about missing my 7am start. I compensated by cooking myself chips and a beefburger at 4:30am covering it in mustard and mayo and now sitting gazing at computer and a prog. on tv about ancient Rome on history channel.God what an exciting life. Hope your night was not to bad in the end Tom, and everyone else who had to work.

  15. The last, and so far only time I worked the extra hour, I was working in the call centre for a “gentleman's” TV station. At least I had the pleasure of knowing that all the customers, without exception, were a bunch of…

  16. I do sympathise mate! I work nights as a hotel porter. no real heavy work, be polite to the guests etc. But working an extra hour, that we are not sure we'll get paid for, when all the managers and other staff are tucked up in bed for an extra hour, you must be kidding! Still, lunch from the fridge in the kitchen, including choc fudge cake, and the fact that theres nothing to do almost makes up for it! By the way, on nights, do you call it breakfast when you eat before your shift and tea/dinner before you go to bed? And is it lunch at 2am? I cant get my head round it! Hope your are enjoying your night off!

  17. But Tom, I really do empathise with you but thanks for making me laugh on this dull dreary Monday in Switzerland. You see, in Switzerland they have never and never will perfect the art of making fun of themselves, they are far too serious. I really miss that typical English skill and you gave me my dose for today.Thanks.

  18. Tom, do what you can to enjoy the extra hour.I'm not suggesting a 'Return of the Archons Red Hour'

    but a pizza or snack of your choosing.

    Make note of what you say to your co-worker at 0200, and

    try to say it again during the second 0200.

    (An homage' to “Groundhog Day”)


    It was Ben Franklin's idea.

    Driven mad by being able to store electricity in

    Leyden jars, he attemped to save time itself.

    Because 'Time is Money', he is honored as the

    only non-president on US Currency except for


    PS: No title for this post?

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