*Delete As Applicable

It's the usual job.

We are led into the police cell / magistrates court holding area / place in the supermarket where they keep shoplifters*

The patient is there, having collapsed with difficulty in breathing / chest pain / asthma attack / drug reaction / withdrawal / claustrophobic panic attack / catatonia*

My crewmate and I assess the patient, we try not to touch the walls of the cell because they are often…icky.

I notice that there is nothing wrong with the patient/ unusually something actually wrong with them*

I talk to the custody officer / police officer / security guard*

I tell them that, while there is nothing wrong with the patient, and it is likely a waste of everyone's time I'll take them to hospital.

The reason for this is to cover my back, just like they have in calling me. After all, a death in custody, while rare, is no fun for anyone.

So off we trot with the criminal / suspected criminal / illegal immigrant / drunk* in tow, in handcuffs and accompanied by an escort.

They'll be back in their police cell / magistrates court holding area* soon enough, but not before wasting everyone's time / money / patience / goodwill*

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*Delete as applicable.

While I'm at it, can anyone recommend a cheap tele-convertor for my Nikon D40X? It doesn't have to be anything special, just so that I know it fits.

10 thoughts on “*Delete As Applicable”

  1. I really enjoy your blog, it's a real insight into another side of life.You've asked a question that I'm actually able to answer this time!

    This Teleconverter is about as cheap as you can get.

    I have the same thing in Canon fit, and while it's nowhere near as sharp as the Canon one, it does do the job most of the time.

  2. My husband has this camera and his recommendation is NOT to buy a teleconverter but to get a good zoom lens. Says go look on this forum http://www.nikonians.org/forums/dcboard.php where there is a D40 group.He has these lens to go with the D40: Nikon 18-200 VR and 150 Sigma VR and 70-300 Sigma DGTelecomverter will slow it down and may not auto-focus on the DX40X.

  3. The Jessops own brand teleconverter isn't too bad, however for the same money you may find a used Sigma on Ebay. Tip, search for teleconvertor. Some of my best bargains have came from people who can't spell.Jesops link here

  4. I'd recommend against a teleconvertor, it'll make your slow kit lens even slower and optically will be pretty poor. You should have a look at some old manual nikon primes, they're much faster, but you have to manually focus and expose with them, you can find out more here:http://www.flickr.com/groups/365610@N21/

  5. I used to like working at Epsom sub. If we needed to attend the police station (next door to us), it was quicker to jump over the wall. By the time the motor turned up you could R/T we were in attendance.

  6. Meanwhile, people are lying drunk in the street / sleeping in doorways and there's no-one to wake them up. What is this country coming to?/sarcasm off

    My friend's dad has a shop in town – wee paper shop – and regularly finds drunks sleeping in the doorway of a morning. He doesn't phone 999, he tips a bucket of Dettol-laden water over them. Seems to wake them up quite briskly.

  7. Hi Tom – years of lurking and it's the camera question that draws me out…My fiance is a photographer and Nikon geek and tells me the best teleconverters are made by Kenko. He's not very price sensitive but he's very keen on value so it'll have passed a serious cost/benefit analysis.

    Great blog btw – always well written and informative. Thanks

  8. “Chest pain”, oh yes. Then when they get to hospital, it's an ECG and bloods and taking up valuable space in the Resus area, then just in case, it's an admission to CCU because in these ligitious times it's just too risky to bounce them straight back out again and that might be a tiny bit of ST elevation, what do you think doctor? And then no-one gets discharged straight out after being a CCU inpatient so it's more bed space and nursing time in the acute medical……

  9. Tell them that you request not to work with any suspected Swine flu cases -or anything else communicable- until your formal warning period is up, as it would technically be endangering your job.Plus say that you just want to check that if you then need to work while spreading swine flu to the potentially vulnerable and possibly immune suppressed people you deal with that you can have it in writing that the LAS would be liable for any private prosecutions, not yourself.

    It just makes you wonder, doesn't it, how many other public sector employees such as teachers and nurses etc will also have to go to work and spread swine flu around because they are on similar warnings.

    (And yes, it would possibly be possible to work despite the swine flu. I had it two weeks ago and didn't feel good, and was doped up on paracetamol, but could still have gone to work if a job was at stake. Of course anyone who caught it off me might not be so lucky in only having mild symptoms… )

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