An Apology

First off – an apology for the lack of writing on this blog, this is partly due to the pain in my testicles and partly because such pain has meant I can't work. This has meant a dearth of writing material.

As I write this I'm waiting for an ultrasound scan report to be emailed to my GP, something that has taken seven days to not arrive. Oh well. I've also 'misplaced' my little black book of things to write about, which means that I've got very little to write about that is ambulance based.

Unfortunately I've also been hit by a bit of depression, something that I suspect is unconnected with my current testicle problem, and more something to do with the increasing sunlight finally giving me the energy to be depressed. Some studies suggest that there are increasing suicides at this time of the year because the increasing sunlight finally gives the seasonal depressives enough energy to 'do something about it'.

So, to keep busy, and to keep writing, I shall spend this week writing about some of the weird and wonderful things that I've been thinking about of late – So expect to see things written about 'Daphne and Celeste', the Chinese in TV crime dramas and racism in World of Warcraft. With a bit of luck this will keep me out of trouble.

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For those that are interested, the sequel to my first book seems to be going fine as I have the copyedited manuscript to read.

14 thoughts on “An Apology”

  1. Will the new book be available under Waterstone's 3 for 2 offer like the last one was?I would also recommend the creative commons again.. I actually bought the last book because I had read it online first – then felt compelled to buy it and leave it in A&E…

  2. No need to apologise. Ironically I came to your blog 2 years ago when I was clincally depressed and reading your archive really cheered me up as have your subsequent posts.May I suggest that large quantities of something you enjoy and can do sitting on a cushion might help? Not things you've been meaning to do but not done yet.

    Hope we get enough sunlight to properly perk you up soon. xxx

  3. i never comment on your blog because you have so many fans already but i just wanted to say i hope you feel better soon. i know the depression monster well and hope he buggers off soon too. hugs.

  4. firstly no need to apologise, your health is more important than this blog.I can understand how some people can get depressed, I was off work for three days on the sofa and the utter rubbish they put on during the day could have driven me to ….. thankfully I got better.

    Good news about your book, the 1st book will go to my local library when I get around to it.

  5. My #1 anti-suicide thought process, which isn't pretty, but it works, is as follows:1. The reason I feel suicidal is because XYZ in my life is unbearable and I am powerless to do anything about it, and efforts to do anything about it will inevitably be pointless because I cock everything up anyway as I am useless.

    2. Having determined that I am useless and cock everything up, why on earth am I thinking about tackling an important, life-changing endeavour such as suicide? It's not the sort of project where there's room for failure! I am useless. I will only cock it up. We have established this. This is part of why I am suicidal. If I was competent and capable enough to properly manage my own suicide, I would be competent and capable enough to properly manage my life, and there would no longer be anything to be suicidal about…

    3. There is no feasible method of suicide where I could cock it up and yet carry on as before. Nope, life after a failed suicide bid would be worse, not just in terms of additional disabling injuries (eg shattered spine, buggered digestive system, burns to throat, brain injury, etc) but also in terms of having to put up with the emotional fallout from everyone around me as they realise what I've tried to do, not to mention yet another crushing dose of my own failure to eat away at me from the inside.

    4. I think I'll do the dishes instead. At least if I cock that up the worst that can happen is some minor cuts and having to buy new crockery.

  6. Sorry you're feeling down. I can only hope things pick up soon.On an unrelated note – I have ordered the Underfire based on your recommendation. Looking forward to reading it!

  7. Fantastic, beautiful, I await with full joy and hope. Who knows maybe I'll accidentally stumble on a certain Amazon wishlist whilst I look for it…

  8. SAD here and the last few weeks have been deeply underwhelming for me too. Routines I'd hung grimly onto all winter fell apart as spring arrived and I've spent more than one day unwashed. Today I did tidy my room and things seem easier. I don't tend to really feel better until the start of May. Not long to go, now…Best wishes.

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