The patient sat across the ambulance from me. I'd spent a few minutes trying to work out what was wrong with him, it certainly wasn't the 'difficulty in breathing' that we had been sent on.
His head was twisted, his teeth were clenched. His legs were twitching. His eyes were darting around, sweat dripping from his forehead.
He was obviously in some form of distress, but I was at a loss as to what was causing it.
Then he mentioned he'd taken some of his brother's medication.
Medication that could cause these physical symptoms as side effects. Suddenly it all fell into place – by taking the medicine that hadn't been prescribed to him (and a sizeable dose at that) he'd brought these symptoms on himself.
I looked at him across the ambulance, while distressing I reassured him that the symptoms would be temporary and were not life-threatening.
“You won't be taking medicines that haven't been prescribed to you again will you?”, I asked.
“Nnnnneeeerrrrrggghhhh”, was pretty much all he could say through clenched teeth.
I saw him walking out of the hospital a few hours later, fully recovered. We cheerfully waved at him as we drove past on our way to another 'difficulty in breathing'.
For those who didn't spot it, the post yesterday was a parody of a BBC news item – a few changed words and a final insane sentence, and yet still all too believable. I would imagine I'm on a 'list' now…
For this week's Monday question, my mum always complains, after she breaks a fingernail, that 'that's the one I use to pick my nose, how am I going to to pick it now!”. And I'm sure that we've all had parents say, “If you fall and break a leg, don't come running to me”. My Nan taught me that the Salvation Army kidnap and brainwash children.
What weird things have your parents said to you? What strange things have they had you believing?