Utterly Fed Up

I'm going to apologise, for this post is a complete moan. Nothing positive about it in the slightest.
I'm on night-shifts at the moment and they are hitting me particularly hard. Last night I was feeling nauseous, which lasted into the next day. My eyes felt as if they had been taken out and rolled around in hot sand before being returned to their sockets. At one point I had double vision.

I was in an incredibly bad mood, something that turned into depression for the next day. For much of the night my legs were 'jumping', both annoying and painful. It also meant that when I could try and grab a moment's sleep I couldn't manage to do anything other than close my eyes.

So I'm feeling wrecked.

What then was I here for? Surely some sick person needed my aid…

Here are the calls we took, along with their need for an ambulance or A&E treatment.

* A two year old with a bump on their head after falling over. Needed neither ambulance or A&E. Was a 'blue light' response.

* A twelve year old with a cut finger. Needed A&E treatment but he and his mum could have walked 200 yards to the tube station that would drop him off outside A&E. It didn't need an ambulance.

* An emergency transfer from one maternity department to another. we got there before they were ready but the transfer otherwise went well. Needed an ambulance and hospital treatment. Was perhaps rightly a 'blue light' response.

* A young man with a sore throat and temperature for four days, had taken two of the antibiotics that his GP had given him. Needed neither ambulance or hospital treatment. Was a 'blue light' response.

* A teenager with back pain after drinking and smoking pot at a nightclub. Was a 'blue light' response, needed neither ambulance or hospital treatment.

* A woman, new to this country, with a blocked ear which meant she could hear her heartbeat. Another 999 call that apparently warranted a 'blue light' response.

Not a busy night in the grand scheme of things, but it was enough to keep us away from our station.

And I get to do it again and again and again. But first, while the glowing dayball is in the sky, I need some sleep before I start thinking about killing those who annoy me and then myself.

Go on, practice saying it, β€œHe seemed such a quiet man, kept himself to himself…”.

This is why I need a new job.

26 thoughts on “Utterly Fed Up”

  1. Have you thought of a transfer out of London? Here in mid-Herts things are a lot slower. You would probably get very bored though.

  2. Sounds like most of you patients were in better condition that you were. Perhaps you should switch roles with any patient that's healthier than you – or at least draft them for the night. They can then do all the drunk waking, vomit mopping and so on for you until they miraculously recover, and you can get a bit of badly needed kip. πŸ™‚ It would be worth throwing up on them just to keep them busy. I can see the headlines now!As for killing the idiots, fine, no problem. Killing yourself – really bad idea. New job, sounds like a good plan. As my Dad says, suicide is not part of the job.

  3. “He seemed such a quiet man, kept himself to himself… he was a bit stressed out at work, but we never could have imagined that he would go on a rampage across London with a re-education stick, maniacally cackling 'Ambulance? Ambulance!?!? Let's make you need that ambulance! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”Actually I can imagine it all too clearly.Oh dear.

  4. I've been reading this blog for about 2 years now, and of late it's been like watching someone falling out of love – from the way you write it, all those little quirks and odd ways that used to be amusing before (or just part of the package anyway) have become like fingernails on a chalkboard, and even neutral issues have become a drag.I've felt that way myself – not just with boyfriends, but jobs, interests – even the odd friendship.

    Get out now mate, before you snap, is my advice.

  5. I am not a great one for visiting the doctor but I recall a guy who was my GP some years back. No matter what I presented with he would look at me with this wild eyed expression of mixed hope and despair and say “I know what you mean, I get that too! What do you think it is?” To be fair, he usually looked like death warmed up and was very probably telling the truth. I loved him to bits, partly for his entertainment value and partly because he was always up for a discussion of possible diagnosis – a bonus for a control freak like me. Maybe you should try this approach……….Been lurking for months, first time comment..you are appreciated, in cyberspace at least…

  6. Not that I'm quibbling with the diagnosis of a medical man, but … are you sure it's a new job you need? You're obviously brilliant at this one. Maybe all you need is the day shift?(I know. Not a solution, because it's not an option, but the first step is identifying the real sore spot.)

    (And I still think you were right to bin the press agent job. Press agent doesn't seem like you.)

  7. Leave now! Do something else, go to school, get another job. It's not going to get any better anytime soon. Believe me, “been there, done that”. Listen to your gut feeling and see if maybe you want to do something completely different. I did, that's how I ended up being a paramedic/emt

  8. I think you need another holiday. I know you have one booked, but maybe a month off to recharge your batteries… I think LAS need to do a huge media campaign to tell the public just what isn't classed as emergency – full page ads in Metro, London Lite, London Paper etc, buses, tubes. Ram the message home so to speak. I know a wee bit of what it's like, having worked on an A&E recpetion for nearly three years – earache, wee cuts, flu, “these antibiotics my Dr gave me this morning haven't worked”…. – what you need sir/madam is not a Dr but Jesus!!On a lighter note, I had a dream about you the other night…..

  9. Poor you, you sure have the blues. do you think you might be clinically depressed?I suppose you should try and picture yourself in 10 years time and try to think what you'd like to be doing then. Do you want to stay in the health service? How about something health but private like air ambulance? Or is it going to be a writing career? A period of time abroad?

    As you have changed career before I'm sure you could do it again. It's a pity you couldn't get a position of influence to sort out the service, or rather the patients! Why do we have to be so nice to them? If only we could educate them we would be helping them more than having them carted off to hospital.

    Remember the Green Cross Code? The man went all the schools teaching that. Maybe there's a job which combines all your skills-

    I hope you find it. Your blog followers are behind you mate!

  10. Try some self electro-convulsive therapy: Take your defibrillator, grease the paddles thoroughly, (you don't want to leave any tell-tale marks.) place them to your head and discharge at full charge, all the while saying, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job……See how good that felt?

    It's simple, but it always worked for me…. πŸ˜‰

    It's either that, or you walk around with a sign around your neck saying: “Please keep your hands and fingers away from the paramedic. He bites.”

  11. No worries. If they put me in prison for incitement to rampage, all of my job/care/food/medical/etc needs will be met, you might be doing me a favour by implicating me…/grumpy also

  12. Have you considered going back into nursing Reynolds? I only ask because even though I can clearly see the downbeat town in your posts as of late, you still give a crap about the human race and want to help people. Maybe nursing would be an option for you again.

  13. Depression? Jumping legs? Sounds like you need an ambulance, ring 999 right now!/cheeky

    Seriously, get yourself out mate. Media whore or not, you'd be better off healthy πŸ™‚

  14. I am sorry that i asked that question and dropped the lid on the open can of worms ! apologies for not knowing you better ! please turn a corner soon ! and make it a good one !

  15. All kidding aside, and as someone who went through 3 years of therapy for PTSD related to this work, you are the best judge of what you need to do to get healthy. Just don't wait until you have hit rock bottom to do it. You don't want to endanger yourself, first and foremost, or anyone else for that matter.

  16. I feel that better backing from management instead of pick-pick-pick would help us out on the road cope better with joe public who are being a frustrating pain in the derriereHope a splash of sunshine or something similar gives you the pick-up you appear to need.

    Remember – look after number 1… 'cos no other fkr will πŸ™‚

  17. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift, which I'm dreading. It almost makes me feel better, knowing I'm not the only one!

  18. Been lurking for months but just had to comment on the hot, sandy eyeballs – what a perfect description. Love your writing and I reckon you would still produce the good stuff without having to suffer so much for it – just my tuppence worth since we're all weighing in. I'm away to sleep off the sandy eyes and G-clamp headache. Hope you feel better soon.

  19. I have total sympathy – I drive a Big White Taxi up north, have just finished nights, and I too have lost the will to live. I try to remain sane by grasping hold of the thought of the one (if we're lucky) decent job per shift. The thought that I have touched the lives of a few people who give a shit, and done something to help.

  20. Move up here to Yorkshire, we'll have you. Get a rural station and drive hundreds of miles a night, deal with the same dross though but at least you get lots of Shell Pluspoints.

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