…Are we so short of homeless alcoholics that we need to import them in from other countries?
…Why do they always have really poor tattoos?
…Cider. Why? Just why?
…Why can’t passers-by recognise them as drunk and not dead?
…For once, can you not paw at me as I walk you to the ambulance?
…After a year or two on the street, why do they all start to look like clones of one another?
…What is it about ambulances that makes them want to urinate in the back of them?
…Will you stop fighting each other? Just for a bit. Please?
…However, when you do get one in the back of the ambulance, they are really good for taking the blame for any farts you might do.