On The Failings Of My Stab Vest

It's coming up to 1am; and there has been another stabbing, a 'glassing', and two head injuries caused by blunt weaponry.
For the first time in ages I've put my stab vest on. It's a not so nice way to realise that I've put on a bit of weight since the last time I wore it.

We were sent to the 'glassing', but were informed that the assailants were still on the scene so we decided to wait for the police to turn up and make sure that we wouldn't get to be another stabbing…

…Unfortunately it was all for naught as a passing ambulance got flagged down by the victims friends. So there we were, hiding down the end of the road listening to the crew giving details of their 'running call'.

Luckily the assailants had disappeared.

We meanwhile were sent to a man who was so drunk he couldn't stand up. He didn't want to come with us, but it's too cold to leave the drunk and incapable 'patient' in the street to freeze to death. So we dragged him up and went to go to hospital.

The problem I had was that this incredibly drunk man kept pawing at me, then tried grabbing my arse while leering at me.

My crewmate found it all incredibly amusing.

It was at the hospital I discovered one of the weaknesses of the stab vests we are given as part of our uniform. In his drunken flailing around he managed to strike me in the testicles – needless to say I dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes gasping like a fish.

Thankfully it was 'just' a glancing blow; so it only took half an hour for the pain to go. The patient was thrown out of the hospital by the security staff.

Another normal night in Newham.


10 thoughts on “On The Failings Of My Stab Vest”

  1. Ouch! glancing or no it sitll bloody hurts.the fact so many 'stabby' incidents happen nowadays is not suprising, i know that sounds very pessimistic but its how i feel. it has become expected that being stabbed is unforetunately a very real consequence of modern life in certain areas of the country. just gotta be careful now on a night out in Manchester not to 'look at someone the wrong way' lest you end up in A&E with a second mouth.

  2. Don't mean to laugh lots at your pain, humiliation and discomfort but I have (& for a long while!!). P'haps 'make' your testicles slightly smaller so the loved up one can't glance over them?!!On a more serious note how come you have been issued with anti stab vests?

    For the past three plus years we have been battling for anti stab vests but they “cost too much” and “no-one has needed one yet”.

    Naturally I beg to differ.

    Several incidents I've been to, we've been 'lucky' not to have been seriously injured from bread knives etc. Each time I've put in an incident reporting form, along with all of my other colleagues, yet their findings remain as “not a need for anti-stab vests”.

    I think they'll find it alot cheaper to have issued anti-stab vests rather than the enormous bill they'd be left with after I've sued their mo'fo'in asses

    It could be made oh so simple, but naturally 'I don't see the bigger picture'

  3. Debs,The powers that be will wait until a paramedic is stabbed to death in the line of duty before acting – and then only after endless public/internal enquiries involving the twonks from the HSE.

    If I were you, I'd buy my own and bill the dept.

  4. We got stab vests years ago, and I don't think that it was from any one specific incident.Number of people saved by stab vests in the past few years number two as far as I know. One fell off his motorcycle while wearing his and the other was accidentally stabbed by a doctor with a needle at hospital after he walked out from behind a curtain with the used needle in his hand.

    Those are the two that I've heard of – they may of course be more.

    I tend to use mine more as a body warmer on cold nights, it'd only slow my running away.

    But they should be issued, to give crews the option to wear them. You *can* get covert ones to wear under your shirt which may be helpful. Good luck billing your service for that though.

  5. To be fair ambulance crews in Newham SHOULD have stab vests no doubt. Newham is one of the boroughs in London where police officers HAVE to wear stab vests – no choice. And I imagine that ambulance crews are presented with similar individuals at times.

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