Saviour Or Service Abuser

I had my first famous person in the back of my ambulance the other day.

Jesus Christ.

We were called to a 'Male, 51, Schizophrenic, acting violently'.

So we waited for the police to turn up, for we are not stupid.

The door was opened by a woman, she said something to the police and they pulled out their asp truncheons and loosened the straps on their CS sprays. They made their way upstairs and left the woman downstairs with us. I started to have a little chat with the woman and thought to myself, “She's a bit strange…”.

The police came down the stairs, one of them took me aside and, indicating the woman, told me that *she* was the patient and was on leave from the local mental health unit. We took her outside where she explain that, yes, she was on leave from the unit but her father had suddenly developed schizophrenia.

I asked her if it might be her mania flaring up, and if she would like to return to the unit. She agreed that this would be a good idea, so the police asked her for her name.

“Jesus”, the policewoman and I looked at each other, “Christ”, she continued.

“OK”, said the police officer, “but do you have another name, perhaps one your parents gave you?”.

The patient gave us her 'birth name' and, fetching her *huge* bag of anti-psychotic medication from under the sink she hopped into the ambulance.

We drove her straight to the mental health unit that she was on leave from. We went into a side room to talk to the mental health nurse.

“What's the story now then?”, she asked.

I told her.

The nurse tutted, “She's not really mad, she's just playing up”.

I looked at the huge bag of medicines the patient took, “But”, I said, “why is she taking all these anti-psychotics?”

“Well”, the nurse replied, “she is a bit mad, but she doesn't need to be in the unit”.

I wasn't in the mood to argue, after all it's not my place to question the long term care of the mentally ill.

We started to leave the unit.

“Have fun with Jesus Christ”, I fired over my shoulder.

17 thoughts on “Saviour Or Service Abuser”

  1. Lucky boy!I had in my ambulance once Benito Mussolini, and a couple of times Padre Pio, but never The Son Of Da Boss in person….


  2. I know, “She's just playing up” is such a derogatory comment, like she's doing it deliberately. Sounds like the sort of comments my husband would get when he was in hospital. He was sobbing his heart out one day when one nurse said to the other “Just take him into the lounge in front of everyone, that will shut him up”.This is called “mental health care

    I'm glad you got your diagnosis, and I hope you're receiving the treatment you need now.

  3. Maybe it was the 2nd coming of Chris? Perhaps she was right and we are all wrong?! My hubby (EMT) has given the Archangel Gabriel in his ambulance before – clearly not such a VIP as your passenger!

  4. Now, working in mental health in your area I can translate this for you..“”She's not really mad, she's just playing up”.”

    Really means, “she has a personality disorder, probably borderline PD which makes her quite difficult to work with. And in all honesty, we simply can't be bothered.

    (ps, an easy way to get yourself into hospital when you feel you need to be, is to say you think you are Jesus Christ. Easy, inoffensive and bam, there you are in your hospital bed that weeks of suicide attempts and self harm couldn't get you!)

  5. I think that when a significant number of christians get to heaven, when they meet god, the first thing that she'll tell them is 'That's SO not what i meant'.Then if anyone asks about sending a saviour to earth, she'll reply, yup, i sent 1 per day, but you guys just kept locking him up.

    I've been lucky enough to nurse God, the son of God (interestingly, both on the same ward at the time), and princess diana (who on occasion was princess margaret).

    I can honestly say though, give me someone with a mental illness anyday, rather than a little old dear with a UTI, hypoxia, or hypoglycaemia.

  6. I went out to the second coming in June. Apparently, God tells him to drink. And who would have thought the second coming would verbally abuse NHS staff? We left him in his holy hovel that night…

  7. Shame you couldn't introduce her to the woman from the Taxi office in Saturdays post, I'm sure they would've found plenty to talk about…

  8. Yup – sounds about right – cos anyone with a mental illness isn't really “ill” and therefore in no need of any “real treatment”, least of all in a place where “illnesses” are “treated”……..I *have* a mental illness and have had since I was about 3 – it took until this year to have it diagnosed………….in Sweden………….Point made? Yup – and duly ignored by UK mental “healthcare” professionals and GPs alike.After all, we're just nutters with no useful attributes or significant contributory potential to society – so lock us all up. Oh wait – you can't – cos they won't take us.*sigh*/rant

  9. They did WHAT?! Sheesh……they probably referred to it as “exposure therapy” – no wonder there is such stigma in the UK still when it comes to mental illness where the actual service meant to offer treatment/cure actually USES the stigma (i.e. social humiliation/embarrassment factor) to make their work a bit “easier”..Thanks – yes I get most of the treatment I need here now, as well as the appropriate meds and it helps – plus far less stigma attached to such issues here………I must read your blog……..

  10. I count my lucky stars my brain chemistry has always been more or less as it should be but had the educational experience a couple of weeks ago of what it's like when it isn't (a bizarre fit of 'depression' induced by reaction to a particular OTC medication that came, left me feeling that the world was about to end then just as bizarrely went 20 minutes later). I never, ever want to feel that way again and now have an enormous respect for those who manage to continue their lives while suffering such symptoms day in day out. Maybe it's something all mental 'care' workers should be exposed to once in their training just to give them some insight.

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