Church

Top call of the day…The call was given as “Collapsed, not breathing”, so we rushed around there to discover that the location was a cab office.
A woman had come into the office to try and persuade the cab dispatcher to go to church, he had buried his head in his hands and tried to ignore her.
She then thought he had died, then panicked and called us.
The “patient” was apologetic, he didn't know that we had been called, while the caller was convinced he had died and come back to life.
Despite being told otherwise by ourselves and the patient.
You have got to laugh.

24 thoughts on “Church”

  1. I neglected to mention there – I've no idea what persuasion they were. Could have been jw's or some other sort. I didn't really take any notice.

  2. Fantastic, you're right you have to laugh otherwise you'd cry.”he had buried his head in his hands and tried to ignore her.”

    Doesn't say a whole lot of good about the Church's recruitment policies does it?

  3. I can just see a new strategy for dealing with the Jehovah's Witnesses coming out of this post. Play dead and they'll go away. Sort of like with grizzly bears. Only it's religion. Huh. Cool.

  4. So… it didn't take much to convince her that he was dead then. I wonder if she gets scared that people have died if they blink too slowly.Sounds like she might be a bit of a nutter.

  5. just try converting THEM to any religion of your choice. Seems entirely fair to me, but last time I did this they got bored and went away. They can dish it out, but they can't take it…

  6. should've pretended to be possessed. She'd have run like the clappers from Satan's evil influence, although she might have tried to persuade her priest to come back later for an exorcism.I had a pair of religious nutters convinced I was possessed once, when all that was the matter was a panic attack with fainting… They offered to my mum that they'd ask their priest about an exorcism, which my mum (who knew the very valid reason for the panic attack) wasn't best pleased about.

  7. i only had the JW's on the door for a min with that. i tried to convert them to methodist ways. when they said they were happy being JW's i said i was happy being a methodist, bidded them good day and closed the door. now when there is a JW's door knock party in my road they dont knock at my door. shame, i think i could get a couple to become methodist.

  8. I used to try doing that when I was a Satanist. Always seemed like a good laugh.Now I'm an Atheist and it seems like a waste of my time to talk to deluded people and not get paid for it.

  9. Have I never posted about the people I go to who are possessed by spirit or devils?Maybe I should write that up as a post if I haven't before…

    (Lack of sleep = forgetful writer)

  10. And on this side of the water, instead of doing harmless things like wasting ambulance time and causing individuals with heart attacks to die, those nutters vote for the Shrub./*drops head into hands and tries to ignore the world*/

  11. Aw, now, come on! Be fair to the nutters! They still call the ambulance because they've had the same cough for a week and they still ignore people dying around them (oh, not to mention the already dead). They also call the cops to report that their boyfriend is “all up in my face!” Only some of the nutters vote… the rest call 911 when they get drunk.

  12. My mom was once told by a JW that “Jesus went door to door!” after my mom refused to let her (and her extended family) into the house to preach to her. Mom said, “Honey, when you get to be Jesus Christ, I'll let you in,” and shut the door.Oddly enough, they never came back.

  13. I can put up with the jw's etc (I just say no thanks and shut the door in their faces so they can't argue).The one religious visitor I HATED was when this guy brought his 8-9 year old daughter and said she had something to say. She started recited some spiel and I felt I had to listen because I can't bring myself to be rude to kids. I gave the father a really dirty look about it. I think it's a horrible thing to do to drag your children into stuff like that.

  14. Funnily enough, my dad used to tell them the same thing. Or that he was gay – he's 80.Then he'd invite them in for a cuppa, funny how they never accepted..

  15. Not that I recall, but then I've got a brain like a sieve. Ask one of the newer people who's just read the whole archive in a week.

  16. How to persude Yoof of Today to vote: “If you don't, then people like this will, and it'll be THEIR representatives who are going to make the decisions about YOUR life”Or maybe not, but it's got as good a chance as any other campaign.

  17. oooh, nasty.At this point I should say they're not all total arses – we had a JW kid with JW parents at our school and you wouldn't have known it unless you went to her house in December and wondered out loud why there weren't any Christmas decorations up.

  18. Was your religious nutter in the cab office actually one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Because they don't actually believe in modern day healings or being brought back from the dead.

  19. Sorry NannyO, that wasn't in response to your comment, but Tom said that she thought the “patient” had died and come back to life.

  20. In answer to that aloud wonder, my stepbrothers and stepsisters (all 7 of them – they're all my stepfather's kids) would reply sarcastically, “Cos mum realised it was a lot cheaper at Xmas and on birthdays to convert to JW!” Oops.

  21. Hehehe – I used to grin like a maniac and cheerfully declare that I worshipped hedgehogs! Another tactic was to cross my eyes slightly, stare above the left shoulder of one of them and solemnly declare that I believed they were right and that I wanted to become as one with the brethren……they didn't stay long for that either……wonder why…..

  22. I find that every time I talk to a JW, they know so much about the bible, and have so many scriptures to show me on every subject, it is hard to debate with them. Does anyone know how they remember so many scriptures on so many subjects???…they must have an incredible training system.

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