I'm back from holiday and have sent off all the emails that I answered while away but didn't have the connection to send, so if you've sent me an email and don't get a reply later today I've probably lost it and you need to send it again.
1) I really don't like flying, especially in 'cattle class' surrounded by people wearing burberry caps and toddlers running up and down the aisle.
2) Even though she knows that I'm remaining tea-total for a year, my mother will still try to get me to have a Pina Colada as, 'just one won't hurt'.
3) The Dominican Republic has some 'interesting' ideas on road safety. There are no seatbelts, coach windscreens are held in by masking tape and people routinely ride four to a bike without crash helmets. I'm guessing that if you want some experience in dealing with motorcycle trauma, this would be the place to come.
4) I will eat pretty much anything. But I'm not a big fan of raw potato.
5) A holiday where I sit on my arse on the beach is superb and I don't miss the scuba diving, jeep driving, rock climbing, walking and catamaran rides that I normally end up doing.
5a) …That's a lie, sitting around doing nothing drives me bonkers.
6) Having your room overlooking the beach is nice, having it overlook the (very loud) nightclub is less nice.
7) I bless my ability to sleep even though short men are shouting Spanish into microphones while playing bad Euro-rave.
8) Apparently this hotel has a grand total of seven records, three Spanish language, 'The Birdie Song', 'Agadoo' 'I am the music man' and 'Macarena'
9) With an inclusive bar and little to do I am very grateful to be tea-total. A holiday of hangovers wouldn't be much fun.
10) Actually, with those seven songs playing twice *every* night, getting drunk would be an improvement.
11) There is a reason that Tropical *rain*forests are called such. Alternately being threatened with flooding, then being baked alive makes for an interesting life.
12) There are scarier places than East London. Likewise there are worse roads, worse drivers and more stray dogs. Although the weather isn't as nice.
13) A week without an internet connection is both liberating and leaves me thinking that I'm missing an arm. It's tough to not have the wisdom of mankind at my fingertips.
14) 'Par!, par!, par! par!' when shouted at 11pm apparently means 'clap!' in Spanish. (Or is that 'plauso'? In which case why does the DJ keep shouting it?).
15) There is no way in Hell I'll ever be able to stop my mum from feeding stray animals.
16) I'm glad I'm not a child anymore, although I wish I had their energy for running around in heat and humidity.
17) BBC World News is pretty good for finding out about the terrorist arrests the day we flew out, although it's not too detailed. At least we now know about the hand luggage restrictions and can plan for it.
18) Having my Macbook in packed luggage is a nerve-wracking experience. As is the fact that it is sharing my (easy to lose) suitcase with my phone/PDA/Gameboy/Ipod/MP3 player/Assorted chargers.
19) Being a Eurovision song contest fan is great preparation for listening to Spanish speaking torch singers at midnight, although this is not through my choice.
20) You can't watch movies on your Mac when the music outside is being played at a stupid volume.
21) There is very little to do in the Dominican Republic. There is very little to see.
22) Typing on the beach is terribly decadent…
23) While I was happy to have a week away, I'm *really* glad to be back and I really need to reconnect with people, read a weeks-load of RSS feeds and get ready for a media blitz on the book. That and, you know, fool around in Second Life and World of Warcraft…