Why Karma Is All F**Ked Up

Bit of stream of consciousness I’m afraid.

I wake up this morning at 5:30 – have a bath, and pack for a couple of days in Liverpool.  I take my stuff outside to put in the car.

“Why does my car door look open?”, I think to myself.

The answer, quite simply, is because some arsehole has used a crowbar to open my car door.  Then they have wrecked the ignition wiring in an attempt to hotwire it.

So now, instead of having a few days of rest and relaxation, I’m going to be running around getting my car fixed before it starts to rain and I end up with puddles under the driver’s seat.

I expected this sort of thing when I lived in a huge block of flats – my car got stolen five or six times – but this is a quite little turning in a not bad part of town.  Yet the little f**kers still target my elderly 1.0l Ford Fiesta.

No doubt they wanted to have a fun little ‘joyride’, they like the small engined cars because they go for longer on a tank of petrol.  But because of them my next few days are ruined, I’m going to have to cough up money that I really can’t afford to spend and I’m going to have a constant headache from grinding my teeth for at least 24 hours.

I’m lucky, I suppose, in that the thieves were obviously too incompetent to actually hotwire my car, otherwise I’d now be waiting for a call from the police to explain that they found the car burned out on some wasteground.  I suppose that the wiring is so non-standard (from previous theft attempts), and this is why it wasn’t taken – because they definitely tried.  I’m also lucky that they didn’t steal my spare work shirt on the back seat.

One day the Gods will smile on me and I’ll catch them red-handed.  Then they’ll know what an intimate knowledge of anatomy can do in the wrong hands.

Right – time to report it to the police…


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24 thoughts on “Why Karma Is All F**Ked Up”

  1. Last friday morning, I walked down my road to see someone's ageing Vauxhall Corsa tipped sideways leaning against the kerb. As if someone (several people) just lifted up one side of it and tipped it over (because of the position of the kerb it stopped at about a 60 degree angle).Why on earth would anyone do such a thing?

  2. Bastards! A fairly basic knowledge of anatomy would suffice to kick their arses. Ooh dunnit drive you crazy!

  3. oh no, karma never works right. if ur a lout u win the loto. if ur a hard working ambo person, someone tries to nick ur car. i'll stop there as i think under 18's read this blog.

  4. B***DS. Chavs love elderly Fiestas because they are easy to steal by hotwiring them. Modern models have transponder keys at last!

  5. It's always the way. No matter what time of the night, no-one ever hears the noise of crowbar on metal or the wrenching of wires.

  6. Hi Tom,Not sure where you live, but in my borough (Waltham Forest) the police offer free steering locks for the most commonly stolen vehicle makes, which include Fiestas over a certain age. Might be worth asking your local coppers for advice, since Fiestas are a common target.

    At least they didn't get away with the car. My neighbours' beat up old Fiesta did get driven away. I have no idea why the oiks take them in preference for something bigger or faster, but hey ho.

    Good luck getting it fixed. It makes me so angry when our car is broken into – how dare they? and the police don't have time to investigate even when there are clear fingerprints and it was covered by CCTV 🙁

    — Flash

  7. Cheers – I've got a car-lock but never use it, I thought that I was 'safe' once I moved from my flat.I've got to say, the policeman was disappointed that I'd touched the car, as he wanted to fingerprint it – which is some change from having to pay 100 last time it was stolen in order to have fingerprints taken…

    Sadly I've gotten used to it.

  8. I'm surprised he was disappointed, unless of course he's a probie… I do that sort of thing all night and I have to admit, while its amazingly frustrating that people touch things they shouldn't and spoil our evidence, a part of me is always pleased that I'm not going to have to bother – its not terribly common for such cases to go anywhere.Sorry about your car though!

  9. F**kers. You can probably get a replacement door for about 20-30 quid from a scrappy – either it will just bolt on or you need to knock the pins out of the hinges (buy or make a tool for this).When my sister's car got broken into the second time, before her boyfriend had even managed to phone the police she was legging it down the road after them wearing her pyjamas, steelies and carrying her bf's Landrover jack handle. In the confusion the spoon-burning weegie scum left their house keys in the driver's footwell. With an address tag on it.

    No, she didn't take a copy. I would have.

  10. Buggeration :(If your wiring is damaged, feel free to give me a buzz and I'll happily grab the soldering iron and come fix it for you for nowt – happy to help a fellow ageing Fiesta owner (mine's a J-reg 3-door and they do suffer from unwanted attention :().


  11. (p.s. it doesn't look too serious from the second pic – they've just unplugged the ignition barrel sub-loom – the thing on the floor there – which is daft as it's actually easier to start the car with it still plugged in…Idiots 🙁

    /al – again!)

  12. You might also be able to straighten up the door by putting a piece of wood at the bottom & pushing the top in. ( Lower window first)

  13. Back in the old days i owned a fiesta too (Named “siesta” by my oh-so-funny friends). Some *ic*heads broke into it on a musicfestival. They unplugged my stereo and left it in the carseat and then stole all my musictapes.I did not know if I was supposed to be relieved or insulted…

  14. my mum & dad (both 60) have a J-reg Fiesta. They got pulled over y the police late one evening and were told (by a rather embarrassed PC) that they'd been stopped on the assumption the car was nicked, asthey are the most popular (presumably because they don't have much in the awy of security) Hope yours is feeling better soon

  15. I had a great motorcycle (1995 Yahama Seca II). Went out of town for New Year. Came back, and discovered that someone jimmied my ignition. (Anyone knowing anything about motorcycles know that if the fork is locked, you need the key to unlock it.) Paid for special towing (now that the fork is stuck in the locked position) and new ignition.Two weeks later, it was the unfortunate victim of a hit and run.

    Didn't think I had pissed off the karma gods that much.

  16. You Poor Thing!Those wee buggers, Id love to get my hands on them for you! Tho what the other poster said about Fiesta's being Chav-Friendly – I think he has a point! Come on out to Leytonstone and you'll see what I mean!

    Anyway, I hope it doesnt cost you too much to get it all fixed up.

  17. The other thing I thought of when my sister's car got done was to buy an MOT-reject potentially nickable and *modify* it. Might perhaps mention that my sister is a class B-licenced pyrotechnician…

  18. I woke to very similar yesterday. Smashed out lock, and everything in car rifled through.. tape converter for Ipod, and charger and holder for satnav stolen. My half empty water bottled emptied over passenger seat, and ash tray smahed out (why?!!) and the plastic covering the wires broken off – but no wires fiddled with. Little bastards. I didn't even bother to call the police, as its the second time in 3 months.. I'd rather they took the entire thing than just do annoying amounts of damage.Karma sucks poo at the moment

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