Shorn

An ideal invention for the Blogger in your family would be a pair of video-recording glasses – wear them all day, and should something interesting happen the wearer presses a button to save the last 30 seconds of video to a small storage device.

If that were possible I’d now be showing you a video of a lovely young man.

I was driving along on blue lights and sirens (to an “intoxicated – feeling unwell”) just heading past Plaistow underground station, from the pavement I could hear someone shouting…

…Someone shouting, “Wanker…Wanker…Wanker…”.  He was also making the traditional hand gestures.

A quick look at him lead me to believe that he was either homeless, an alcoholic, or both.  I could see that he had no front teeth.  He only looked around thirty years old.

I slowed the ambulance so that my crewmate and I could loudly laugh in his general direction.

He turned his back on us.

He bent over.

He pulled his trousers down.

Suddenly we were confronted with a skinny white arse, and dangling between his legs were equally white and skinny testicles.

They looked shaved.

Just then a police car came over the hill.

I wound down my window and spoke to the police driver, “See that fellow with no teeth?  He just exposed himself to me”.

“The one calling you a wanker?”, asked the policeman.

“That’s the one…Have fun!”

We continued on the way to the call as best we could between tears of laughter.

It’s strange the things that make your day.

4 thoughts on “Shorn”

  1. Actually Microsoft have something like this, their SenseCam. It's even developed in the UK, at MS Research Cambridge. It's a prototype for people with Alzheimer's, with GPRS so you know where the video and sound was recorded and can then, hopefully, document the events as part of a computerised memory.However you'd have to change your “listen to this article” links to “watch this”. And shaven nads? Well, I guess it's no worse than womble porn.

  2. Every time I read your blog, I think about the London Underground drivers. 30,000 a year and no direct customer contact, so no abuse. Just press two pedals all day, stop and go. I bet they're not having their salaries reduced either.

  3. One minute you're all “Get out of my way people, I'm on blue lights”, the next it's “Screw the blue lights, lets slow down and laugh at the guys bollocks”. 😐

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