EP Fit

The black dog has risen it's ugly head and coupled with a sore throat and abdominal pain, my muse appears to have buggered off to Spain for the weekend – so I bring you a post that has been sitting in my 'potential post' file for some time. I wrote this when I was still on an ambulance, as opposed to the RRU I'm currently on.

We got called to a “Female – epileptic fit” in the street – this was a call that was sent to us by the police. Now, I may be accused of being overly cynical, but when the police call us to an “epileptic fit”, it is normally because they are arresting someone, and in order to avoid going to the police station the person fakes a fit. There are ways and means of detecting when this is the case, some of which I have mentioned previously. Even though this was the likely explanation for this job, we still rushed down there, fully prepared for it to be genuine.

We turned up to see a car being towed away, and the police that met us had a slight smirk about them, it's the finely tuned sixth sense I have that made me suspect that the police were hiding something from me. We were led to the patient, who was laying in a darkened alleyway, with her boyfriend standing over her.

As is my normal approach, I said something along the lines of “Hello love, can you open your eyes for me”, I brushed the thick, long hair from out of her eyes, and, being unable to see the patient properly pulled out my torch and shone it in her face. At first I thought it was just a very unattractive woman, then I brushed the hair back a bit further and that caused the wig to slip…

This female was born a man.

Now, I have no problem with transsexuals. I know a couple in a social situation, and apart from the time I caught one of them going to the bathroom in pink dressing gown and pink bunny slippers, their gender doesn't pay any part in what I think of them (as with gay men, I just think, “Great! More women for me!”, of course it doesn't work out like that, but I live in hope).

The hardest bit is working out wether to call the patient 'he' or 'she'. So I asked the boyfriend.

It looked as if the patient had had a genuine epileptic fit, and so we got her onto the ambulance, and started our treatment. I managed to get a lot of the details off of her boyfriend. We got her into hospital, where we found out that she was not unknown to the hospital. By now she was starting to come around.

As she, and the boyfriend didn't live in the area that we found them in, I asked what she was doing there – apparently, she had parked the car on the estate, then someone had stolen the keys. Given what she was wearing (pink furry moon-boots, tight leather miniskirt, tight pink top, and a leather/furry frock jacket), and what I saw when I peeked at her previous medical historyt – I wonder if she was one of those 'ladies of the night' that we often drive past.

I mean, most of them look a bit rough, but having been born a man might explain a lot…

18 thoughts on “EP Fit”

  1. Been a reader of 'Random acts' since your apperance in the B3ta newsletter a few months ago and have been engrosed since. I've finaly got round to writing a comment, both to thank you for a wondeful interesting blog and the services you provide in your daily life. People like you truely deserve infinate respect from the general public, whether rushing to save a life or merely discovering uou've been called to a woman who is as far from giving birth as you are from getting home that evening, however far away that may be.I also want to congratulate you on your appearence in this Sunday's Independent, thereby preventing a journalist from having to actualy write something for a change.

  2. Just wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon and that the muse soon returns with a geat suntan and some nice Spanish red wine!

  3. Sorry to do this Reynolds, but I needed 8 people whose blogs I read and you are one of themYou've been tagged!

    Go here to find out what I'm on about.



  4. It's not a particularly female gene that causes people to wear tight leather skirts, furry pink moon boots and too much make-up. It has to be a trait that affects some women, many transssexuals, and a fair number of gay men.Prostitution does have that effect on people. As does meth addiction. The two often go together.

    Feel better, thanks for the re-cycle.

  5. Hot water and lemon juice with a teaspoon of honey and a dash of scotch. Ideally stick a red hot poker in the mixture and early night with a hottie and you'll be fine.Pat

  6. “It's not a particularly female gene that causes people to wear tight leather skirts, furry pink moon boots and too much make-up”You've clearly never visited Essex then… 😀

  7. Tom the good thing about your job is you only spend a limited time with the people you meet, though some incidents could be life changing if you are not strong enough to deal with them.I once had to call someone called Julie on the phone, a male voice answered, I said 'can I speak to Julie' the voice replied 'Julie speaking' I'm sure I only hesistated for a second or two, but you could have sliced the silence with a knife.

    Keep up the good work Tom, and hope you are feeling okay healthwise.

    The Driving Instructor

  8. An edited reprint of 'Care home':Random acts of Reality is an online journal written by a paramedic working for the London Ambulance Service

    I only tend to see the bad nursing homes. I'm not talking about nursing homes where the patients are abused in the traditional sense, but rather where they seem to have simply been… left. I went to one the other day, run by a large prestigious private healthcare company, it is clean and looks very pretty. But I'd rather die than spend my final days there. The patient was 90+ years. (Note the snippage here) Her room was clean, but was empty of anything personal – there were no pictures, no letters, no ornaments. Nothing. (More editing) I wondered what this woman had seen, what she had lived through. I could imagine her dancing in the 1930s, being married and having children, (More edits) raising her children while living through the war, maybe working as part of the Land Army. I thought about her husband, probably long dead, and the friends she had also probably outlived. It always depresses me to think that some people end up in homes like this, where the care is slipshod, and her life is now just an accumulation of numerous small acts of omission.

    Its then followed by a link to your main page. No actual review per-se.

    Actually, what concerns me about the editing is that it misses some of the key acts of negligence on the part of the home. Instead it only seems to be the lack of pictures which bothers you.

  9. When I worked in retail we used to have a couple that came in regularly, and it was obvious they were men. This was no problem to me or any of my staff. However, there was one time when they wanted to pay by credit card.I was presented with a dilemma, the card clearly said Mr. I was in a bit of a quandary, did I say something, even though I knew full well, or just leave it?

    I left it, the signature matched and I knew. Just a little awkward, not knowing what to do for the best, and not wanting to offend or upset anyone.

  10. Is that the black dog as in the expression Winston Churchill used, aka depression. You have my sympathy. No point to say “you have no reason to be depressed”, it strikes when it seems fit, but especially when you are tired and getting ill.Hope it doesn't last long.

  11. In terms of pronouns it is a good rule of thumb to go by the gender of their dress. If someone is dressed like a woman then using female pronouns is appropriate. If someone is dressed like a man then likewise.Most trans people would greatly appreciate the correct use of pronouns as there have been reported scare stories of trans people people left in the street untreated, or treated less than well by emergency response staff because of their trans status. Many police forces will have an LGBT rep, I would hope that paramedics would have access to similar resources or people to advise in such situations.

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