WE ENTER A CLEAN AND TIDY HOUSE, MOTHER AND FATHER ARE LOOKING CONCERNED, TWO SMALL CHILDREN ARE PLAYING ON THE CARPET. LYING ON THE SOFA IS A CRYING 13 YEAR OLD GIRL. SHE IS CLUTCHING HER CHEST IN APPARENT PAIN.
ENTER STAGE LEFT AN ATTRACTIVE RRU DRIVER CARRYING LARGE AMOUNTS OF HEAVY MEDICAL EQUIPMENT.
RRU: Good morning! What seems to be the problem here?
THE FAMILY REMAIN SILENT.
RRU: Does anyone speak English?
MOTHER (In perfect English): Yes.
RRU: Well if you tell me what's going on I might be able to help.
MOTHER: She has had chest pain for the last 15 minutes.
RRU DRIVER DOES VERY CLEVER MEDICAL THINGS TO THE GIRL, HE SEEMS HAPPY THAT SHE IS NOT ABOUT TO SUDDENLY DIE. RRU DRIVER IS STARTING TO THINK THAT THE PAIN MAY BE DUE TO A MINOR CHEST INFECTION.
RRU: Has she had a cough recently?
RRU: Are you sure?
MOTHER: Yes – no cough at all.
FATHER: Yes – no cough at all.
PATIENT: Yes – no cough at all.
RRU DOESN'T LOOK TOO SURE – THERE IS A DRAMATIC PAUSE.
PATIENT: *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*
RRU DRIVER LOOKS ENTIRELY UNSURPRISED BY THE SUDDEN COUGHING FIT THAT HAS OVERTAKEN THE PATIENT. HE ROLLS HIS EYES.
(Today's post has been brought to you by 4 hours sleep and the healing power of Red Bull and plenty of cups of tea)