Things To Do When Hit By A Car…

Or…”The reason why Barking road will be closed for an hour or two”.
* If you have broken your arm and leg, please don't wave them around, as the sight of your bones trying to protrude through the skin isn't a pretty one.

* If the nice ambulance man puts your neck in a hard c-spine collar and tells you to stop waving your head around – listen to him. Broken bones heal, broken necks can be a bit more final

* Do try to get hit down a side road – if you get hit in a main road, then the disruption to traffic will be a lot worse.

* If your 'friends' say that they saw everything and will be at the hospital, try to have the sort of friends who will actually turn up there, and not just think better of it and bugger off to whatever hole they crawled out from.

* Yes, I know your arm and leg is broken, but seriously – keep your neck still.

* If you don't want me to know your name that's OK. Just make sure you carry some identification in your wallet.

* Having a shaven head makes it really easy to spot a head injury, thanks for that.

* Loose clothing is really easy to cut off. Please dress appropriately.

* Keep…Your…Bloody…Head…Still!

Why the flippancy? Lets just say that he and his friends are “well known” to the local police, and to the odd ambulance crew. Also, you want to know how we deal with nasty trauma? Dark humour…

19 thoughts on “Things To Do When Hit By A Car…”

  1. I think they're all very valid points, although I'm sure the injured party obviously didn't think so at the time ;o)

  2. I'll put money on someone in these comments taking issue with some unspoken assumption you're making about shaved headed people in this post! πŸ˜€ Or that you're being too judgemental about people with broken limbs, based on unfair stereotypes of those with bones sticking through their skin. Something like that.

  3. Oh, don't mind me – flip away! :o)Surely the only way to cope with what must be quite gruesome things you see every day is to turn them into humour. You'd go mad otherwise.


  4. Never mind bald people – what about “ill” people. I reckon our esteemed EMT is much more judgemental about ill people :-)))))

  5. Fantastic blog… Best ive read in a while. Keep up the good work. Ive made notes on all of the above and hope to remember them the next time i get run over on a motorway or something. Daz

  6. Yep, 'ill people', bastards the lot of them.And as for the bald, pierced, ill people. Well don't get me started…

  7. Interesting thought that. Having read this blog just how would it change your behaviour as an “ambulance caller” ?a) You need to wear clean pants

    b) You'd make sure that the EMT wasn't blogging while he was bagging you – mind you you wouldn't really care if he was doing that

    c) If you're asked to smile for the camera do so nicely

    d) Say something witty as he misses your vein for the fourth time

    e) Try to remember if you're a poorly controlled diabetic or just drunk

    f) Think of a good reason to actually call him out. Something that sounds more plausible than “can you take me to OP rather than A&E?”

    g) Carry a stop watch so you can time the RRU and shout “gotcha” as they go next door because you made a mistake with the house number

    i) Aim your vomit or other bodily fluids – try and get his PDA πŸ˜‰

  8. Oh and spend the time waiting to think up something better than “I slipped in the shower and forgot I left that there”

  9. You could take it as a “computer stupidities” or similar texts – ie. the writer is being sarcastic because this happens all too often. So the text is intended to ridicule the target – and at the same time giving a hint that others should not follow the example.

  10. There's nothing wrong with a good sense of humour! Made me chuckle – we certainly seem to share the same sense of humour. :o) Keep up the good work – and making me laugh!

  11. Things to do when cocking up a rock climb:Do not swear at the nice EMT.

    Do not shake their hand in apology when you do, your forearms will spasm and your hands will clench, hard. Then they will have to be detached with much commotion.

    Yup, that's a tibia. You might not have seen it before, they have. Don't call attention to it.

    Try and fall off nearer flat ground, then it won't take so many people to carry you off:

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