8:30

8:30 this morning.
I'm trying to explain something to an (understandably) hysterical woman, and her two children (4 and 7 years old).

I'm trying to explain that her 37 year old husband, and their father, is dead, and that there is nothing I can do for him.

There is nothing I can do to stop her crying. The children are in disbelief, and I don't know what to say to them either.

Sometimes this job is really shitty.

23 thoughts on “8:30”

  1. I once had a student whose fianc died suddenly. She found it impossible to engage with poeple afterwards. This must be very hard to bear, especially with two young children. Given her devastating loss, Reynolds, I'm sure nobody would have handled the situation better than you.Snoop

  2. I can understand how difficult this is having been in a similar situation myself. I hope that it is something I will never have to do again. I don't envy you.

  3. It sounds like that was a really tough job. I assume you guys get some kind of support for dealing with that?

  4. Well, we have professional councillors, LINCS (Which are members of staff with councilling training), and if you are religious *shudder* you have a Chaplin.Plus the whole, 'Sit around with a cup of tea and have a natter'.

    If you have something particularly nasty (like a dead child) then, if there are any spare, a station officer or team leader will meet you at the hospital, and at minimum will stand you down for a cup of tea. (At least that has been my experience).

    So there is plenty of stuff available if you want it, I haven't yet, but should I, I'd feel happy that Da Firm was doing something worthwhile.

  5. The problem is that you can't lie, because deep down they know the truth.Also because he had been dead for such a long time there was no point even starting a resuscitation attempt. So he wasn't going to the hospital.

    So it was down to me, and the ambulance crew who turned up after me.

  6. I lost my father when I was 8 and my brother was 5. No matter what you say, it's wrong, no matter how much time passes. I've finally learned to say “thank you” to any condolences. It still hurts, even though 20 years will have passed this October.Stacie

    Raspberry-Latte

  7. It's hard to appreciate just how difficult your job must be sometimes. We appreciate you, you know. Thank you.

  8. Simple and to the point without being rude or inhuman.Over the years I have seen many different styles of auxiliarys to consuntants telling people that close ones have died.

    from “were flogging a dead horse, I'm calling it” to “mother has taken a short walk to rose cottage”, I feel that the best thing to do it to be to the point initially then be there if needed to support. never lie, and dont use launguage that may be missinterpreted.

  9. us emergency types have feelings too, somtimes it can be difficult but you learn to put your pesonal feelings to one side whilst maintaining empathy and kindness. Then after a particually bad day off to town to get razzled. (or maybe thats just my department)

  10. What he die of ?I'm 37, over weight and an ex smoker – so my hearts going to srtop?

    I've got a wife and 2 year old, thanks Mr Reynolds – shocked me in to doing something about it

    Tube Boss ( AKA Station Cleaner )

  11. Life sucks. My 2 were 4 and 8 when their dad died, I was in such a sttaqe of shock that the 8 year ol assumed a lot of responsibiolity she shouldn't have had to. She just graduated and is getting married soon, he is about to go to uni.It was shit for along time, but there is life…. evntually

  12. Sometimes you just cannot say anything that will be of any help. Life (with it's concomitant Death) just slaps you hard in the face. And if you are watching someone else get smacked, you get some fallout as well. Heartbreaking, often literally.My condolences. Do what you need to cope.

  13. sympathy to the family and all crews involved, its not nice when that happens, and many people forget that the crews attending are human as well…..Still, I bet your reward will be a matern-a-taxi 5 minutes before your next shift end…

    See them out, see them in…. its a funny old game..

  14. This is about as inappropriate a moment as any to say that you don't need to be religious for a “Chaplin”, but a chaplain would be a different matter… That said I suspect Mr Chaplin would do me more good under the circumstances you find yourself in. Presumably from the time thats the start of the shift too, so you get to work for the rest of the day feeling numb, nice.

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