Little Things

First off, I’m apparently mentioned in the current issue of Web User magazine.  So if you come from there, Hello – you can get to the archives from the sidebar over on the right, oh, and it’s best to wipe your feet on the way out.

Lots of little interesting things today, nothing too serious thankfully, and given the warm weather, thankfully no decomposing bodies.

First off, there is an emergency GP doing the rounds who seems to have some strange ideas.  Examples of his work are the elderly woman who is dizzy and has jaundice, a man with all over muscle pain for two weeks, and an elderly man with “fluid on the lungs”.  All these were prescribed antibiotics, and were told, “It’s probably an infection, but I don’t know where”.  I’m not sure if it’s the same GP, but if it is, then they really are pointless.

This is probably why the Primary Care Trusts like the ambulance service – because we don’t faff around, but take everyone who is ill to hospital, and leave the well ones at home.

I went to a little old lady who had fainted.  Absolute darling (if only because she laughed at my “you should take more water with your gin if it makes you dizzy” joke), but who didn’t want to go to hospital because she cares for her disabled husband.  They lived in a warden controlled flat, but the wardens in those places aren’t supposed to do any ‘caring’ work.  Our patient wouldn’t go to hospital and leave her husband – so, falling back on my nursing experience, I got control to call the social services that look after that family.  After promising that everything would be fine, she agreed to go to hospital.

Why did I go through Control to contact the social workers, rather than phone them myself?  Well…Control record all the phone calls they make – so if someone promises to do something, then we have the proof…

Not that I have a lot of experience dealing with social workers at all…

Yesterday I went to the same street twice – on two occasions, twice to ‘Dick’ street, and twice to ‘Harry’ street.  Today I went to the same street (outside my area) twice as well.  I wonder if something is trying to give me a message?

I got a job as a “15 year old Suspended at school” (suspended is a polite way of saying ‘dead’), I don’t think my foot lifted off the accelerator pedal at all to the school, and I suspect that a lot of rubber was left on the pavement as I power-slid around the corners (who says computer racing games are no use?).  I hit the school at about the same time as the ambulance crew (who had also driven like maniacs), and we ran up three flights of stairs, across the school, and down three flights of stairs.  I saw the girl laying on her side, rolled her over, and had a huge sigh of relief as she recoiled in horror from my ugly face staring down at her.

The patient had very little wrong with her, much to all our relief.

We were all understandably happy, but then the adrenaline crash hit us pretty hard, and coupled with the physical exertion of running, I felt like crap for half an hour, until a nice cup of tea worked it’s magic.


Tomorrow, I shall be on the hunt.  I shall be hunting for a specific lollipop man (or whatever they are called these days).  When I find him, I shall be shoving his stick where the sun doesn’t shine.

The reason?

Picture the scene – I’m racing down the road on lights and sirens, I think I’m going to a dead 15 year old, I am driving, as previously mentioned, at a stupidly fast speed.

So what does this bloody idiot do to a kid waiting on the other side of the road?

He tries to get the kid to run across the road before I get there!

This sort of thing makes me want to go stabby…

23 thoughts on “Little Things”

  1. I once (aged about 12) crossed a Zebra Crossing and had barely reached the far kerb when an ambulance on full blues'n'twos blared past my back. I'd never realised it was coming. If you were that ambulance driver 20 years ago, here's my much belated apology. (No school patrol was involved.)Graham

  2. Why the fuck were you driving at such dangerous speeds to get to, what you believed was, a dead body? Was it being that much more deader a real issue for you????

  3. People do indeed die young, Just recently I lost a friend of mine, she was only 21. Had a hole in her heart and had 2 massive heart attacks in quick sucession and died in the middle of town. Im going to her funeral tomorrow, first one.Liz & baby Josh 2 weeks old today

  4. Yeah, before my training I assumed that dead was dead.But the whole point of resucitation is to stop someone who is temporarily dead becoming permanently dead! This means doing something fast.

  5. maybe not get “stabby”, maybe just remind him what a nudge from the bonnet of your 90mph car might feel like…

  6. Sounds like one of those days!All joking aside, you really should complain to whoever you have to complain to about that crossing assistant. Bloody ididot – his sole role in that job is to ensure the safe crossing of kids from one side to the other, this doesn't usually involve encouraging them to play a game of chance with a blue-light.

    On similar note… i'm curious to know what your feelings are about the plod 'testing his vehicle' on the motorway that was in the news the other week… are you pro, agin, or on the fence?

  7. Well as far as I know London is full of twats isn't itAnyway, why the hell were you given the call as “15 year old suspended” when there was not much wrong with her? It's unbelievable. What was the reason? (I mean it's not that hard to tell if someone is dead or not is it)

  8. I do wonder who our esteemed RRU man would do a buffy to first ? Despatch ? A local druggy ? The lollipop person ? One (or more) of his regular imbibers. Heck I think we have some unresolved aggression here. Perhaps a course is needed or even a few late Friday night shifts at the Royal London A&E.

  9. They were teachers *grin*(I can say that because I trained as a teacher, and my brother is a teacher)

    In truth it was probably a case of chinese whispers, as it was a hell of a run from the reception to where the girl actually was.

  10. It does happen you know.Asthmatics can die young, epileptics can die young, people with Sickle Cell can die young, congenital heart conditions can die young and there is a whole raft of 'syndromes' that can kill you young.

    And that's not counting the RTAs, stabbings and murders that can kill you young (like the 15 year old girl a collegue of mine went to who was stabbed to death).

    I've dealt with a couple of kids dying at that age, and while it's fairly rare, it does indeed happen.

  11. Is it possible to watch too much Buffy?But actually the 'stabby' thing is something between my brother and myself – but which is such a lovely phrase I use it all the time.

    Well…I use it more and more these days…

  12. That lollipop person should be shishkababed or worse.We would shoot him/her at dawn.

    Ambo's are tops on our manor…

  13. That lollipop person should be shishkababed or worse.We would shoot him/her at dawn.

    Ambo's are tops on our manor…

  14. report his damn right dangerous doing to the LEA, the better for a group of kids to be a min late than a couple of kids never making it.

  15. When you said suspended, first I thought “They call an ambulance because she was in trouble and got kicked out of school?” Then you said dead, I thought she'd hanged herself. Ah, I love when Jargon actually works, if you know what it means it is perfect, and it keeps people who would panic from worrying.As for bad jokes….

    When I roll my patients into surgery, I do the amusement park announcment “Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times and enjoy your day here at XYZ Hospital!”

  16. What were the person's qualifications for pronouncing them dead? It's quite possible that the patient was “nearly dead”, in which case every second that Tom saved in getting there could have been vital. Should I ever collapse somewhere I want Tom and his colleagues to drive like a bat out of hell, rather than rely on somebody at the scene who may not have even checked my breathing!Sanescientist

  17. Not despatch, because their hands are tied as are ours.Local druggy would be a good guess, or one of our frequent fliers who calls up just as I'm nodding off on a nightshift.

    And you wouldn't get me working in an A&E again – it's that which made me hear the stabby voices the first time.

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