Houston

I would have posted this from Houston Airport, if their WiFi network didn’t require you to tell them what state you live in. 

Please, no jokes about the ‘state’ of my life.

I mean, how hard can it be to realise that perhaps, just perhaps, in an international airport you have the slightest chance that one or two of the people who would like to use your network may not actually live in America.  So this post has been posted at the same time as the last post, which is basically as soon as I can get some form of Internet access.  Make sense of that last sentence if you dare.

My fears were well founded, and I did miss my connecting flight – I feel bad because Jeannie is picking me up from the airport, and it means she has had to change her plans at basically the last minute.  For me, it means I have an extra two hours in Huston (which is rather warm, if completely overcast), and I spent much of that time sitting in a sports bar drinking bottled Heineken.

So far everyone has been helpful, friendly and polite, with perhaps the exception of the border control people who just looked really tired, and incredibly fed up.  So they were polite, but you could tell that their heart wasn’t really in it (unlike John, my bartender in the Sky Bar).

Oh yes, I got ‘selected’ again at Huston, so it’s not just the British who think I look a bit dodgy.  The difference with being selected in Houston was that I didn’t spend five minutes with the officer talking about how impossible it is to get a decent cup of tea when abroad.  Instead the Americans made me take my boots off, and ran a metal detector over me, and rooted around in my bag.  I really had to bite my tongue to stop myself from making a joke along the lines of “Take my shoes off?  Don’t you know that my sweaty socks are a chemical weapon” – I thought better of it, being anally examined by these folks is something I didn’t really want to happen.

I guess they are just targeting stunningly good looking men who are travelling on their own.

Still I should be alright after a simple little internal flight…right?

10 thoughts on “Houston”

  1. When my husband and I used to fly from Sweden to the US we would get flagged for extra searches EVERY SINGLE TIME. It was so annoying. I have always wondered what their criteria is. Hope the rest of your trip went smoothly.

  2. I guess they are just targeting stunningly good looking men who are travelling on their own.

    has that been my problem the WHOLE TIME?

  3. Searchers luv searching septuagenarians too , and I could get a free pass to the morgue, tho I be ambulatory up to 5 miles per hour, but they love playing wicked witch of the east, passing that wand over every orifice and decontaminating my BO.But always remember the rule of Civil servants and their Ilke, Never be civil and they do not have one ounce of 'umour. It is the only chance they get to throw the book at ye, if given a spector of an opportunity. So welcome to the Pacific shores.

  4. I've noticed that state thing on online forms, too. It's especially annoying when the form has a menu for country, but still insists that you fill in an American state (or an American zip code) before it ships your order overseas…

  5. its fun watching the officers gag when i take my shoes off at a airport check, twice i been told to stick my shoe back on quickly. one officer did joke about my sock being a chemical weapon. šŸ˜€

  6. I always get searched too as I forget to take off my GM seatbelt buckle belt which makes the metal detectors go loopy.I also concur with the ridiculously good looking people statement

  7. Ya' don't want to joke about anything realated to security in this country (USA). The geeks who work for airport security have absolutely no sense of humor and probably would have carted you away for a long session of question and answer.

  8. You're lucky RE not making joke about chemical weapons socks. In the Ft. Lauderdale airport, there's signs in the waiting areas that SERIOUSLY ask people not to joke about anything capable of even the slightest misinterpretation.One time, a guy joked about bombs and Colin Powell jumped out frmo behind a tree banging aluminum tubes. The clatter created chaos throughout the whole terminal…

    -Madpercolator

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