For the final post about FBUA (for I am on night-shifts from tonight), I’d like to relate the tale of the doorknob.
A forty five year old male came into A&E with a doorknob inserted where the sun doesn’t shine.
His story was less than original. Apparently he enjoyed vacuuming his house while naked. While doing this he had backed up against his living room door, only to have the doorknob disappear up his rectum. Unfortunately the doorknob was loose, and when he tried to remove himself, the doorknob gave way and thus became trapped up his bum. Thankfully he got dressed before making his way to hospital.
Cue surgery, and removal of said object, when asked if it caused much damage, the surgeon replied “It wrecked ‘em”.
Bad joke, I know – but that’s surgeons for you, she probably spent the entire surgery thinking that one up.
I vaguely remember two stories – one of a woman who came to our hospital with a bed-knob inserted anally. The other is of a person who shaves doll heads, swallows them and then gains sexual gratification from passing them in his stool. This may not be true (I read it on the Internet) , but it wouldn’t surprise me if it were.
Back to blogging about work tonight – and although I can’t promise that the subject matter will reach any great cultural heights, it can only improve on writing about FBUAs.