Dirty Looks

Damn I need sleep…I'm sure 4 hours each night isn't going to keep me at the top of my game…
Just a quick post – as soon as I can spend more than an hour at my flat I'll post about the great and fearful “Lord Orcon” who fills us, and the manager of “da Firm”, with fear. I might even tell you about the “Magic Pen”.

Unfortunately I need to sleep so I'll keep this brief.

When crossing the road and an ambulance comes rushing toward you, do not stop in the middle of the road, saunter to the other side and give me a dirty look. If you do, I may just suffer a moment of “diminished responsibility” and run you over. I am hardly ever surprised by what people do when faced with a big white truck bearing down on them with blue flashing lights and a wailing siren (which in moments of madness I'll sing along to…) but to turn round and look at me as if I was something scraped off your shoe…well if my crewmate or I feel the need to swear at you – don't be surprised.

And I have a new weapon against the evil foe of “pretending to have a fit” or “I'm drunk, and you are gonna carry me home”. Smelling Salts. While I enjoy “waking people up” by judicious application of pain, some folks you just don't want to touch – and for those, the sweet smell of ammonia will be assaulting your nostrils. I didn't buy this new chemical weapon myself, but sometimes mothers can get you just the perfect gift.

3 thoughts on “Dirty Looks”

  1. Ammonia works well but I generally prefer nasal trumpets. Sometimes even the threat of it is enough. The best part? If they're not faking I've done the right thing anyway.

  2. We used to carry the Am-Caps but they were removed several years ago over fears that someone could have a reaction to them. Seems someone somewhere had a seizure and was allergic to them, so we removed them.I loved them, and so did the cops. We had a drunk who was under arrest and refused to “wake up.” The cop asked for a couple of Am-Caps, broke them, and Shoved the caps UP the guys nostrils. He didn't waft them in front, he jammed them inside. The “unconscious” person jumped up pretty darned fast.

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