My Night Shift

Much fun and games last night, working out of Poplar. Not only did some German bloke graffiti on the back of one of the ambulances – but he also called the crew from a payphone and ran off, repeating it twice.
There are a lot of strange people out there…

MacMedic gives a rundown of what his shifts are like, so I thought I'd do the same, in honour of our brothers in foreign climes.

All these people called an ambulance by dialling “999”.

(a) Fractured Wrist – Young lad at the Boat show.

(b) “Frequent Flyer” who has just been released from prison…We thought we'd got rid of him for good.

(c) 15 year old with a runny nose.

(d) Very minor R.T.A.

(e) Domestic Assault, with no actual injury, but police already on scene.

(f) “Facial Injury” which turned out to mean “Some bloke kicked my door”.

(g) Assault with a cut hand, actually a decent injury with tendon involvement (which means surgery and physiotherapy).

(h) Varicose Vein that had burst, plenty of blood everywhere.

(i) 29 year old with chest pain, hyperventilating with very upset relatives.

(j) Overdose in a house filled with young men with short hair and tight t-shirts (ifyouknowwhatImean).

(k) R.T.A with a traffic light pole coming off the worse in a two car collision.

(l) 8 month pregnant “lady” who had fallen earlier that day.

and…

(m) A fitting 9 year old, only one of the parents spoke English, and so decided to stay at home and send the father who doesn't speak English with us, because “The hospital has interpreters…”

Now, out of these thirteen jobs, only five actually went to hospital…a prize if you can tell me (via the comments) which five went to hospital

7 thoughts on “My Night Shift”

  1. I think a law should be passed – if you phone an ambulance without due cause, the ambulance crew should be allowed to administer an injury worthy of a trip to hospital…

  2. At a guess…(i) Chest Pain. Heart attack possibility, minutes are precious.

    (j) Overdose. Never know when they're going to aspirate vomit etc

    (k) RTA – no mention of injuries, but from the sound of it, you'd need X-rays etc to rule out internal injuries.

    (l) Pregnancy – ultrasound possibly required even if foetal heartbeat etc OK.

    I'd have taken (a) Fractured Wrist too, but the ones on the list are the only things possibly life-threatening. I'll go for this one instead

    (g) Assault – needs hospital at some time, anyway.

    The only medical training I've ever had is a 35-year old Lifesaving course ( CPR) and a 30-year-old NBC (what to do if nerve-gassed) course, so I'm probably wildly out.

  3. (i) Chest pain was resolved after the patient stopped hyperventilating – and decided not to travel.(j) Overdose was the usual “5 sleeping pills”, patient didn't want tot travel, overdose wasn't serious and he had “friends” there to watch him. The amount of alcohol he had on-board was his major illness I suspect.

    (k) X-rays rarely show internal injuries – patient decided they didn't want to go, so after an examination we left them.

    (l) This woman did travel, but baby etc were all fine.

    (g) The assault didn't travel, because he didn't want to – he was drunk, but not drunk enough to get us to call the police and have them “request” he go to hospital. So we treated the wound itself, and left him there with a note telling him to go to hospital in the morning when he woke up.

    (a) The fractured wrist did go to hospital.

  4. 1 out of 5. Oh well… Good job I'm not in your shoes for all concerned, I think.Hope the side-effects of the meds are subsiding, Sir. Best wishes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *