It’s Nearly Over

After yesterdays surprising number of genuine jobs it appears that reality has returned. So I find myself dealing with the usual rubbish. What is worse is that despite living in an “ethnically rich” borough (where the official figures are 53% ethnic minority) all the food shops are closed for Christmas and I'm starving to death. With all the Muslims around you'd think some would ignore Christmas and stick around to keep McDonalds open…My normal foul mood has returned and so I offer the following words of advice, Don't call an ambulance if…
…You have haemarroids and after having a “poo” there is a streak of blood on the toilet paper.
…You are pregnant, have contractions every 30 minutes and your husband will “follow the ambulance in his car”.
…That you are worried that your bellyache for the last three weeks hasn't gone away.
…You had some drinks last night and now have a headache.
…And finally, if your urine infection hasn't vanished after taking one of the 28 antibiotics you were prescribed.
I'm off now to find a kebab shop that is open, or die trying…

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