We were sent to, let's call her 'patient A', who been assaulted and had a supposed broken jaw (she didn't). This was following a pub fight in a well known 'dodgy' pub. It was half past midnight on what felt like the coldest night of the year.

We arrived on scene, we found an FRU on scene and a police van that was just heading off to the pub where the mass fight had taken place.

'A' got onto the ambulance, crying and snivelling, 'B', her boyfriend, a big lad full of anger, followed her. Another crying woman 'C' joined us, I think she was the sister of 'A', or was it 'B'? All of them were 'proto-adults' – older than teenagers, but still behaving like them.

'A' wanted to know where 'D' was, another woman (a sister or a friend?); meanwhile 'B' was proving that he was a man by punching his fists together and shouting loudly about how he was going to return with a gun and shoot them all in the head. In front of the police who, like me, have heard it all before.

'A' decided to jump off the ambulance to look for 'D' so 'B' followed her. 'C' realised that not only was 'D' missing, but so was 'E', who I think was her boyfriend, or maybe the boyfriend of 'D'.

Down the road 'A' and 'B' were screaming at each other, then fell into each other's arms, 'C' meanwhile was fielding phonecalls.

'A' and 'B' came back, then 'E' phoned up 'C' and told them that he had two broken legs and was laying in an alley – 'C' who seemed the most sensible of the lot tried to get him to describe where he was. Meanwhile 'B' continued to show that he was a real man by stomping around and swearing bloody revenge.

The police returned, then went to look for 'D' and 'E'; 'B' stomped a bit more, then decided to go look for them as well, 'A' shouted at him that she didn't want him to leave her, waited until he was out of sight and then hopped off the ambulance to follow him.

It was about now that I called for another ambulance to give us a hand – if there were five patients that's one more than we can handle…

'C' went off to look for 'A' and for a short moment peace returned to the inside of my ambulance.

'A' and 'C' managed to find 'D' and had a bit of a hug outside of the ambulance before getting on board to escape the cold.

A car drove past with snow on it's roof.

I wasn't surprised that they were cold, there dresses they were wearing barely showed under their belts. Which just goes to show how old I'm getting.

They sat in the back of the ambulance, took more phone calls, cried and hugged and waited.

My headache got worse.

The police returned with 'B' and 'E'; 'E' looked like he'd been given a mild kicking, nothing too serious, but he wasn't dealing with it that well.

'E' went onto our trolleybed, 'B' continued to posture, 'A' shouted at 'B' to shut up, 'C' told everyone to calm down and 'D' needed to have a wee.

The second ambulance arrived and took two of our patients – 'A' and 'B'; 'B' was under strict instructions to behave himself.

'E' continued to let everyone think that he was dying while we drove to hospital. 'C' was sensible and 'D' crossed her legs.

At the hospital 'E' made a remarkable recovery and started whispering to 'B' about revenge while 'A' and 'C' told them not to be stupid and 'D' went to the loo.

We left them there, it was our last job of the shift and as I sat chewing down some painkillers I wondered what had started it all of in the first place.

Then I realised that I just didn't care.

Pondering – If we had a military draft of our young people, we'd largely be screwed. Although to be honest I do tend to see the worst sides of people. Or people at their worst.

The lurgy laid me out for two days (thankfully two days that I was off work anyway, so my sickness record is safe…). I then spent two days at work coughing and spluttering over people while dealing with a banging headache – I think I'm going to take on a new nickname – 'Typhoid Mary', and now I have another day off where I appear to have lost my voice. I leave it as an exercise for the reader to guess the effects of making probably still infectious health workers return to work in an effort to avoid disciplinary procedures. Let's just say I'm not visiting my mum on my day off..

20 thoughts on “Confusion”

  1. I find it hard to believe that people like that have a good side (in that state anyway)I'm 18 and the sound of drafting seems like a good idea to me, although I personally would detest the army (I'd more than happily work for most other government agencies)

  2. as a young person myself (20) i think a short miletary draft would be good for a lot of todays youth. it would give a disipline and structure to lifestyles that completely lack any organisation. i went to a miletary boarding school and it was one of the best times of my life looking back on it, even if i hated it at the time.

  3. I am a firm believer in NOT re-activating National Service for teenage yobs, in order to give them “something to do”, for two reasons:A. The forces of the Crown need people who want to join the navy, army and air force, and

    B. giving an already angry and hormonal teenager a loaded gun is a BAD idea.

  4. as a young person myself (20) i think a short miletary draft would be good for a lot of todays youth. it would give a disipline and structure to lifestyles that completely lack any organisation. i went to a miletary boarding school and it was one of the best times of my life looking back on it, even if i hated it at the “As” – capital at the start of a sentence

    miletary “military”

    todays “today's”

    disipline “discipline”

    i “I” – always capitalise it whether it's at the start of a sentence or not

    The punctuation in the last sentence is a bit odd too, but we'll leave that for now. Shame your military academy didn't have any English classes 😉

  5. Ah, always nice to see people giving a well structured critique on other people's comments. Of course, the only reason those sentences were written was so you could offer your much appreciated revisions.It's a shame whatever school you went to didn't teach you the basics of manners.

  6. “B” is darn lucky he didn't try that nonsense on my patch here. We had a bartender and 6 patrons killed by some fellow who thought he'd been disrespected and went home to get weaponry.Cops and others take those threats REAL serious now.

  7. Now there's an idea, but what if they decided to re-introduce National Service by putting dysfunctional young people (code for teenage yobs) into public service..say on the ambulances? Sorry about that….a shiver just ran down my back. The problem is that of perception, we only see the idiots. For every idiot we have to deal with there are thousands of non-idiots we don't come into contact with. These are the people who go out, have a drink, enjoy themselves and return home safely. The same goes for younger people. We only really see the ones who make a nuisance of themselves. I am in my late 40s and have been hearing this re-introduction of nation service stuff since I was a teenager ; I don't think it's any more relevant now than it was then.

  8. Those that be 11 to 27 were always a problem, hormones run wild, and have all thru [for the grammarian] London town and city had many a rough house, 'twas why archery was popular and help the king to have the best archers and kept the lads occupied on the days off, then came apprentices who loved to have “fisty” cuffs called riots , so soccer was the game to keep the poor lads worn out, while better lads played hand ball at Eton and had gentleman sports so that they could lead the street lads into even more games.all energy must be used up, else it rots.excess energy was very useful for hauling sails up and down and carry sacks of coal thru the streets, now very few have means to show off their man hood, except entertaining the NHS and Bobbies in how many bones can be broken and how to paint the pavements, sidewalks and roads with 'luverly' regurgitated take outs. nutin' has changed.

  9. Hope you are feeling a bit better now Tom, if not how about going and looking for your managers and sneezing and snerching over them?Spelling and grammar ok ok so l don't do them either shoot me for it.

  10. This is first visit, a friend passed site to me ages ago but only just got round to looking at it. First impressions – sounds like a typical day at work to me, very funny, honest and sadly very true. The public need educating on what an EMERGENCY service is for!!

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