Two Amusing Things

A lot of simple and ultimately uninteresting jobs last night, but two slightly funny things.

The first was our first call of the day – a man who had fainted in a betting shop. When we arrived we were told by the other patrons of the shop that the patient had already left. They shoved us to the door and pointed in the general direction of the busy street.

“There he is!”, they shouted at us, waggling their hands in a general direction of 'outside of the shop'.

“Who?”, I asked. “There are loads of people out there.”

“Him – the one with the head”.

I was a bit surprised by this description.

“They all have heads you silly sods!”

(We didn't find him in the end, he can't have been that ill to outrun an ambulance.)

The second started off as one of our usual types of calls, a four year old boy who had been vomiting. His mother was concerned and so we agreed to take him to hospital. As there was no other adult in the house the mother had to take the boy's sister with her.

Our patient was fine, fairly happy and no further signs of vomiting.

The sister however waited until we were within sight of the hospital before puking all over the floor of our ambulance. It seems that we are making people sick (literally) in the back of our ambulance.

I correctly identified the child's dinner as chicken and sweetcorn. Then I had to mop it up.

It's a glamorous job I have.

13 thoughts on “Two Amusing Things”

  1. Mainly N, V & D downunder too, there have been some exceptions of late, but it really looks like the season to expell whatever you have in you out of both ends. I don't mind the vomiting, but I prefer not to be greeted at the door with a bowl full of vomit thrust up into my face to point out the patient is sick.

  2. Maybe you should dole out the 'Stugeron' to all borders who are prone to being travel sick. My friend said the only way to stop kids throwing up in the car was to drive very very gently, as if you had a 'bowl of unset trifle; in the back and you didn't want to spill it.'Gentle driving in London, I don't think so.

  3. Alternatively, get them used to “funky” driving at a very early age…If they're used to it, then it won't make them sick anymore! 😉



    PS. Don't try this at home folks. Or on the roads for that matter.

    PPS. I can not be held responsible for any accidents caused by ignoring the advice in the PS.

  4. I would say it was more to do with the cooking of said chicken and sweetcorn than your 'funky' driving lol. Perhaps a crash course in hygiene…

  5. A GP I used to work for wasonce asked to go and identify a body- if I remember rightly it was only the bottom half, the head being elsewhere. Poor Dr had only just joined the practice so wouldn't have know the patient even if he'd intact! Sparked lots of jokes of course, like “was he the head of the family?”We had a burglary the next day and when the police apologised for not being able to send scenes of crime they were a bit taken aback when I knew why!

    Good use of an emergency ambulance.Patient hit by 5 eggs. Didn't bother to wait to be seen.

    Interesting letter today. It said “the bowels are” then nothing more about bowels. “I think therefore I am”, “the bowels are” mmmm

  6. Did they say whether the man in the betting shop had won or lost just before he fainted?I saw on the news yesterday that a 71 year old man had been so excited at the arrival of his new (125cc) motorbike that he had a heart attack and died on it the next day.

  7. i know what u mean, by people being so vague, it is funny, the kind of people out there,it was so difficult to register onto this blog, a nightmare really, as the ostritch site kept throwing me back out and would not accept my registration,

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